Seven
by twodollartrick
Summary: ."I killed my lover over an addiction. An addiction that took over my entire body. An addiction that dragged me through hell, chewed me up and spat me back out again leaving me as a useless, lifeless cheap imitation of the man I once was." (COMPLETED)
1. StartStop

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this. **

_This chapter expands over:_

**July 16th**

* * *

Addiction.

Such a strong word. A distinctive word. An addictive word.

The dictionary describes it as a "compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance."

Sounds rigid, doesn't it? I'll give the dictionary it's dues though, it tries to capture the essence of an addiction the best that it can. But until you've been through one, you'll never know what it's like.

You'll never know what it's like to make empty promises to someone for one more shot.

You'll never know what it's like to crave something so much you'd sell your soul for one final line.

You'll never know what it's like to be captured in a wave of depression before a single pill lifts your sprits up again.

You'll never know what it's like to be so enraged that your addiction could be taken from you that you'd hurt the single person who ever loved you in your entire life. I do anything to feed my habit. And I mean, _anything_.

I killed my lover over an addiction. An addiction that took over my entire body. An addiction that dragged me through hell, chewed me up and spat me back out again leaving me as a useless, lifeless cheap imitation of the man I once was.

My days are numbered. I know it's going to kill me. I have trouble breathing and haven't been outside for two weeks now. I haven't eaten in four days. I have my dead boyfriend lying in a heap downstairs and I don't care.

All I care about now is heroin.


	2. One

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this. **

_This chapter expands over:_

**June 6th and June 7th**

* * *

The beat was fast and constant, relentlessly spewing out its hypnotic charms over the clubbers who were taking it all in wildly. Sweaty bodies writhed with each other as the pulsating beat grew more urgent. Shores of men and men, women and women, men and women and women and men were all dancing together throughout the whole club. Together, they were alone yet as a whole, they were together.

But one man wasn't hypnotised. He'd seen it all before and having made his way through the club twice only to see the same old repetitive soulless faces hidden behind a façade of alcohol and drugs, he'd sank back to the sidelines and watched it all with a rather bored expression on his face. A couple of men came up and asked him to dance. He replied no. They weren't his type. A couple of men came up and asked him to fuck. He replied no. They weren't his type. Besides, he had a boyfriend at home and he wasn't one to stray.

Instead he sat and watched the clubbers being controlled by the music. They moved robotically to the mesmerizing rhythms, unaware that they were being taken in. The man saw them being controlled so easily and couldn't stop a small smile that formed on his flawless face. He was indeed stunning and had the crowd not been so glassy-eyed, they would have saw it too. He had pulled his shoulder-length blonde hair into a ponytail that evening. The feminine style was accentuated by his delicate nose and slightly glossed lips, but there was no mistaking that he was a man, especially when looking into his grey, brooding eyes.

"Alright Tyler?"

He turned and was greeted by the sight of a slightly weathered-faced man. The clubbing scene had long surpassed him, yet he clung onto it's coattails, desperately riding the youthful bandwagon for all it was worth.

"Hello Roger," he replied flatly. He had no interest in talking to this man and he didn't bother to hide this fact. The thick-skinned Roger didn't appear to be fazed by his tone.

"So how long are you gonna say no to my generous offers, Ty?" Roger asked in his thick cockney accent, leaning into his newly found companion closely.

"Forever," he replied coldly, not liking the shortened nickname Roger had just christened him with. "I've told you already, I'm not into the drug scene."

Roger's face was a picture of exaggerated surprise. "But why?" he exclaimed. "You're young! How old are you again?"

"I'm twenty-one, but -"

"Twenty-one! You should be over there with them lot!"

He sneered. "Them twats?" he asked, nodding his head to the sea of clubbers. "They're all off their faces! Look at them! They may think they're having a good time now but by the end of the night they'll be sobbing into each other's arms telling everyone how much they love them. The next day they'll wake up with a massive comedown and be depressed until next week when the cycle starts all over again."

Roger snickered. "That's what I rely on!"

He shook his head disapprovingly. Roger tried to make more small talk with him but when he folded his arms, pointedly turned in the other direction and didn't reply, he got the hint and joined the crowd to hassle some other innocent bystanders. He lazily watched the spectacle in front of him. Girls in skirts too short and heels too high were drunkenly making their way down the stairs, laughing in a hyena-like fashion. Underage boys were sipping drinks delicately, looking virgin-like for any men who would hopefully take them home that night. The older people, like Roger, were desperately trying to fit in and covered up their aging bodies with the latest club wear, adorned with whistles and luminous glowing sticks. It was pathetic.

It wasn't always this bad. He had long learnt that the key to a successful night was alcohol and the more he consumed, the less depressing the night would be. However, he'd taken it easy that night with two double brandies and cokes and that wasn't nearly enough to obscure the circus taking place around him. Finishing the last of his drink, he slammed the glass down hard on the table and wondered whether to return home or not. Simultaneously, a shattering sounded off to the right of him. He turned his head as bouncers efficiently ran over to the scene while the unaware clubbers danced in their own world.

There was blood. Crimson blood trickling down caramel skin. Crimson blood on pale hands. Too much blood and too much violence. The man felt a familiar sickening feeling wash over him.

_**Crimson blood slowly trickled down a delicate wrist that lay limply as if unattached to the body next to it. The helpless captive - so young, yet looking older than I had ever seen him - was slumped, lifeless and emotionless against a tall pillar that didn't look out of place in the huge stone room. The knife that had done its job so well lay next to the captive while the captor stood over him triumphantly.**_

"_**Finally," he said satisfactorily in a voice so hoarse it sounded like a whisper. "Finally, it shall be completed."**_

_**I couldn't see his face; he was facing the captive at the moment and I was glad. I had been dreading this moment for a long time and I wasn't ready for it. I could feel my knees shaking violently underneath the black silk robe that swamped me. I tried not to feel so scared. He could smell fear. He could smell it miles away and where there was fear there was doubt and where there was doubt there was betrayal and betrayal equalled death. **_

_**So I kept my eyes on the captive and tried to feel satisfied. Too long had he been plaguing me, too long had he been a nuisance in my life and finally he was going to get what he deserved. But in my heart of hearts I knew he didn't deserve this. My fear was so strong that I thought I was going to vomit up my heart so I couldn't imagine what he was going through. I tried to find out as I stared into those green eyes of his, once so magnetic, yet now replaced with a dull dampened version.**_

"_**Malfoy!"**_

_**His voice swept through my body and hit me like a ten ton weight in the pit of my stomach. I stayed rigid, digging my nails into the palm of my hand to try and distract myself from my fear. It didn't work.**_

_**I inclined my head slightly to my left where my father stood. He was still staring at the back of the dark lord, so I returned my gaze in the same direction. Just as well because at that precise moment the dark lord turned around and looked straight at me.**_

_**There are moments in life that you will never forget and this was one of them. I will never be able to forget those fiercely red eyes that felt like a electric laser when directed at me. Nor will I ever forget those teeth, so monstrously vampirish and menacing. But most of all, it was the skull. Over the years, the dark lord had wasted away into nothing. Until tonight. He finally had everything he needed to cast the spell that would allow him to live eternally. But it had come at a price. His skull had not grown back fully and as he had turned to me, I saw the unconcealed burning flesh over the partial right side of his face.**_

_**I still stared straight ahead. Inside I was screaming.**_

_**The dark lord swept over to me. "Master Malfoy," he said softly. The use of my name allowed me permission to look at him and I knew what the price would be if I didn't. It took everything inside of me to stop myself from flinching. I quickly recomposed myself, remembering that he could smell the scent of betrayal for miles. I forced lost quidditch matches into my head and remembered the fury at being beaten so many times by Potter.**_

"_**Master Malfoy, you are to pluck a feather from the Phoenix I have captured that lies in the watchtower underneath the full moon to aid me in completing my spell. Bring it to me in no less than three minutes, is that understood?"**_

_**I bowed. "Yes, my lord."**_

_**He turned around without another word and so did I.**_

Draco Malfoy turned away from the bloody scene in front of him and sank back into his chair. He drew in sharp breaths but they weren't helping. The sight of blood always made him nauseous and he knew that no amount of alcohol would make that memory fade away tonight. He needed something stronger.

* * *

"Alright there Tyler, what can I do you for?"

"What have you got?" Draco asked, getting straight to the point.

Roger's eyes lit up. "You mean? Do you -"

"Yeah. what have you got?"

"Anything you want mate, anything you want."

"Fine, I'll try coke." It was a surreal situation but Draco barely felt it. He didn't register the fact that he was talking, nor the fact that he had walked into the toilet for some drugs, nor the fact that he was in a cubicle snorting a line of cocaine up his left nostril through a rolled up ten pound note. He felt the powder make its way to his head and he blinked his eyes widely a few times to stop them from watering. He didn't feel any different to how he did before, except maybe slightly more awake, and he didn't know how the clubbers on the dance floor could get off on the stuff so much. He found some excess on the toilet seat and rubbed it all over his gums the way Roger had told him to do so.

He left the dingy cubicle and was aware that eyes were roaming his body. He was used to it, even when he was wearing something as simple as his outfit that night; a slightly fitted black t-shirt and faded black jeans.

"Nice arse."

"Thanks." He didn't know who had gave him the compliment nor who he was saying his thanks to.

"Want me to fuck it?" The compliment giver turned out to be a man in his mid-thirties. He was fairly decent looking with sandy-coloured hair and blue eyes, yet his body was packed with so many steroids that even his muscles had muscles.

"Nope," Draco said, looking in the mirror self-consciously. He gave his nose a quick rub and sniffed, lest there be any remaining powder in his nose. He turned to the man and gave him a brief smile before going over to the door.

As his hand touched the cool steel handle and he pulled open the door slightly, the man slammed it shut again easily. The toilet-goers that weren't drunk or drugged-up watched the scene with a mixture of interest and fear.

"Why not?" The man asked, wetting his lips with his tongue.

"I have a boyfriend," Draco replied shortly and tried to pull open the door. It didn't budge through the weight of the man's hand that held it shut.

"So do I," the man said, not giving up. "The names Gary." He offered Draco the hand that wasn't holding the door steadfastly.

"Tyler," Draco said flatly, giving him the name he was known as throughout London. He shook his hand politely. Gary grinned and returned the handshake but when Draco tried to pull away, he didn't release it.

"Let go," Draco said shrilly, trying to wrench his hand away from Gary's grip.

"Give me a blow job and I'll think about it," Gary replied. A few of the spectators snickered at this.

"Just let go," Draco demanded again, his voice getting higher. Gary didn't relent. The room started to slide sideways and Draco closed his eyes, trying to fight the throbbing pain in his head. He stayed there rooted to the spot for several minutes, helpless to do anything, nobody daring to step in and get involved with this steroid injected monster of a man.

"What's that noise?" Draco suddenly asked hurriedly.

"Huh?"

"That ticking noise, what is it? Where's it coming from? What's going on? Why is -"

A mobile phone sounded off cutting Draco's panic short. He was suddenly hit by its jingling sound. Each note sounded like it had been composed by a musical genius. He stopped struggling and listened to it in awe with his mouth slightly hanging open.

"Hey, where's it gone?" Draco asked crestfallen as the owner answered the call. "I want to hear the music again! I want to dance!" He turned to Gary who was watching him with a slight smile on his face. "Dance with me Gary!"

"You taken anything?" Gary asked with a grin.

"I took some magic white powder. I snorted it. Up this nostril here, see?" He tiptoed and showed Gary his slightly reddened left nostril.

"Yeah, I see," said Gary uninterestedly.

"I snorted it like a pig," Draco said, snorting loudly to effect. "And put some on my gums. Look!" He bared a sinister smile in Gary's face, who smiled awkwardly and tried to push his face away.

"So how about that blowjob you wanted?" Draco asked groggily. "You ask my boyfriend, I give the best ones ever! I will make you scream baby!"

"You'll bite it off," Gary said, now wanting nothing more than to disown Draco. "Here, chew on this gum grinder." He gave Draco a piece of chewing gum and let go of his hand. "Stay safe."

Draco barely heard him as he staggered back into the club. He opened the door and was greeted by the loud music again that had sounded muffled inside the toilet. It had gotten louder since he'd been gone and it now felt like it was about to burst his eardrums. Instead of shying away from it however, he moved onto the dance floor. Giggling, he suddenly found it funny how the music turned itself up while he had gone. It was almost as though it was like a stereo or something, he thought to himself. For some reason, that random thought made him giggle even more and when he realised that he didn't even know what he was thinking about, he spluttered into hysterical laughter.

Suddenly the club just seemed better. The dance floor got wider, the people got friendlier and even the oldies now looked a few years younger. He felt his inhibitions slip away one by one and when the DJ asked the crowd if they wanted more, he found himself screaming with the rest of them and dancing wildly.

"Havin' a good night mate?"

"Yeah!" screamed Draco to nobody in particular. The way people looked at him quizzically made him realise that nobody was talking to him but instead of feeling embarrassed he collapsed into fresh giggles. He looked around the club happily. A strobe light caught his eye and he stared at it entranced by its fast paced movements as he swayed from side to side softly.

He suddenly got bored of the strobe light and gave it a dirty look and turned away. He stumbled through a crowd of people who protested their anger loudly, none of which Draco actually heard, and leant on the bar heavily.

"Can I have a ..." His voice trailed off and he squinted his eyes stupidly at the bottles that lay behind the bar. "... One of those ones," he said pointing to a small clear bottle.

"You want a vodka shot?" the barman asked.

"Yeah," Draco said, chewing on his chewing gum as hard as he could. His mouth felt numb yet he could feel it fizzing like someone had poured acid over his gums. His teeth grinded together viciously and he chomped on his chewing gum harder.

The barman produced a small glass, measured out a shot of vodka and poured it in. "That'll be one pound mate."

"No, no, no wait, I want ..." He screwed up his face, lost in deep thought. "I want three," he said holding up two fingers.

"Three?" the barman checked.

"Yeah," Draco demanded, banging a fist down on the bar counter rudely, "three."

The barman produced the drinks and Draco gave him a ten pound note. "Keep the change babe," he said, struggling to hold the three miniature glasses at once. He lifted them all up at the same time and downed all three glasses. Most of it ended up down his front but the poison still did its damage as it slid intoxicatingly down his throat, burning it up and lighting a fire inside his stomach.

He went back down the stairs and hit the dance floor again, but it didn't seem as much fun anymore. The dance floor had gotten smaller, the people got nastier and the oldies now looked like they were about to drop dead right there and then. And when the DJ asked the crowd if they wanted more, he realised he was sick of the shit music he was playing.

He felt chronically depressed. He tried to lighten up his spirits again but it was no use. Everyone in the club were having a good time, except him. He caught a few people looking at him before turning away quickly and he instantly felt paranoid. The whole club were laughing at him. There was an inside joke what he didn't know about. It was probably a set-up or something, like a hidden camera show and everyone in the world was laughing at him having a horrible night. He looked around wildly at any signs of a camera.

"You alright mate?"

"Yeah, I was just -" He tried to remember what he was doing but he couldn't keep his train of thoughts. "I was just -" he turned to the person who had asked him but there was nobody there. He looked around at the people beside him but they all seem to be engrossed in their own conversations. He suddenly wanted to cry. Everyone around him were so selfish. They didn't even bother to ask if he was having a good time or not, they were all too busy with themselves. With tears threatening to spill from his eyes he marched over to where Roger was sitting.

"Roger, I need some more stuff," Draco said desperately, his voice shaking with emotion.

Roger grinned, showing a row of mismatched yellow tombstone teeth. "I'll give you a gram for 50. It'll keep you buzzing all night, I promise you that."

Draco thrust two twenty pound notes and a ten in his face.

"Done."

* * *

"Hi honey I'm home!"

Draco staggered up the stairs and burst into the large bedroom he shared with his boyfriend. He had decorated it well. Settling on a black and white décor, he had chosen all the furniture and picked out matching curtains and duvet covers. But right now, having burst into the bedroom, he instantly hated it for being too dark. He needed something light. He needed strobe lights. He needed loud music. He was fuelled up and his house was too boring to stay in. He contemplated turning around and leaving to go to another club when he heard a stirring from the bed.

"What time is it?" Harry Potter mumbled, rubbing his eyes with a fist in a childlike manner. He fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table and put them on clumsily. Taking a look at the clock he exclaimed, "Drake, it's four-thirty in the morning! You promised me you'd be home by two."

"You were asleep, you didn't miss me," Draco said dismissively, walking over to the cabinet on the opposite side of the room and taking a handful of sweets from there. He gorged himself on them, mashing his teeth firmly against the rock hard candy shell which threatened to crack from the pressure he bit down with.

"Did you have a good time?" Harry said in the middle of a yawn. His messy bed hair looked cute and Draco suddenly felt a warm sense of affection come over him. He jumped onto the bed excitedly and pulled Harry into a rough hug.

"You had a really good time by the looks of it," Harry said gently, trying to pull himself away from Draco's grip. "Drunk too much again?"

Draco grinned. "Nope, I didn't drink hardly anything and I had the most fantastic time!" He scrambled to his feet and started jumping on the bed.

"Drake!" Harry protested. Draco didn't listen and carried on doing it. "Draco, stop it!" he repeated forcefully.

Draco bounced to a halt and fell down into a cross-legged position. "Don't be such a bore," he whined. Before Harry could retort he had scrambled from the bed and delved into his walk-in wardrobe.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked confusedly.

"I'm trying to ... " His voice became muffled through the sounds of coat hangers being rustled about aggressively.

"What?" Harry asked. "Drake, what are you doing?"

Draco appeared out of the wardrobe with an amused smile on his face. "I don't know," he admitted and burst into hysterical laughter. "I don't know what I'm doing!" The repetitive statement became more humorous and he shook with laughter as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Draco, just stop it," Harry said. "Look, do you want me to get you something to drink? Some juice or -"

"I'll have a double vodka straight please barman," Draco giggled.

Harry sighed. "I hate it when you act like this Draco," he said defeatedly. "You act like such a fucking dick when your drunk." With that statement he buried himself under the covers.

Draco watched his sleeping form under the bed sheets seriously before a car horn outside distracted him. He ran to the window and pressed his nose up against the glass. He stayed in that position for a couple of minutes while unbeknown to him, Harry peeked at him from under the covers, slightly fearful of the hyper replacement of his boyfriend.

He eventually stumbled downstairs and turned on the TV. Music blared loudly through the speakers and Harry cringed from underneath his bedcovers. One half of him felt as though he should supervise Draco when he got into these states, but the second half protested that he wasn't a child and if he chose to get himself into these drunken stupors then he should be able to get himself out of them.

With that in mind, he buried himself deeper under the covers and forced himself to block out the sounds from downstairs. Still, he couldn't help but feel a slight fear lurch in his heart when he heard the sounds of a news report investigating the murder of a woman and her three children. The graveness in the newsreaders voice was unsettling, but Draco's manic laughter at the news story was far more horrific.

* * *

"Here, drink this."

"I don't want to."

"Drink this." The command came more forceful this time and Draco complied. He knew Harry wasn't happy with him that morning. He could vaguely remember waking him up when he came home from the club and again when he finally went to bed that morning. But if he had had any previous doubts that Harry was pissed off with him, they would have vanished by now by the way Harry slammed down the hot mug of tea in front of him. He knew that Harry making sure that he had washed the previous night out of his system was more of a case of duty than affection.

Draco brought the steaming liquid to his lips tentatively and yelped when his tongue was burnt.

"Sorry, too hot?" Harry said uncaringly, going over to the kitchen sink and washing up plates that were already cleaned.

"I said I was sorry," Draco said through gritted teeth. He felt like shit that morning and although he knew that Harry might be a little mad at him, he didn't need his holier-than-thou crap spouted at him today. His head was killing him and he didn't want nothing more than to crawl back into bed and go to sleep. Harry had made sure that that didn't happen however by suddenly having the urge to vacuum the room loudly at nine-thirty that morning.

"Yes you did," Harry spat. "But that doesn't excuse you coming back and waking me up Draco. You know I need sleep!" He whirled around to face him. "I've told you a thousand times if you want to go out and waste your life by alternating between drinking and sleeping then that's fine. But I've got both of us to support and I can't go to work feeling so tired that I don't do my job properly. I won't get paid and neither will the rent."

"It's all sorted out," Draco mumbled, clutching his head, trying to prise the headache away from his brain.

"No, it isn't," Harry snarled into his ear. Draco jumped, his head reeling back from the volume of Harry's tone.

"Leave me alone," he mumbled, trying another sip of tea. It had cooled down a little but Draco still felt the liquid burn his throat more than vodka did.

"No I wont," Harry retorted. He pulled up a second chair and sat down at the oak table that dominated the centre of the large kitchen. "What exactly did you have to drink last night?"

"What?" Draco avoided the question with another question though he knew it wouldn't distract Harry, only bide him a couple more seconds time with which he could hopefully think of an answer.

"You heard me," Harry snapped. "What did you drink? I don't remember you suffering this bad a hangover since your birthday, and even that event was partially excusable. So you must have drunk a lot to get so bloody wasted like this."

"I didn't drink a lot," Draco protested. It was truthful, by his usual standards. "I had a couple of shots of vodka and two double brandies and cokes."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Is that all?"

Draco nodded, his eyes wide and youthful. "Honestly, that's all I had to drink."

Harry sighed. Draco was a master manipulator and he knew it. But he had lived with Draco for a while now and although there was the odd time where he had falsely mistook one of his lies for the truth, most of the time he could tell when he was telling the truth or lying. Yet this time was different. Harry knew how excessive alcohol affected Draco and he was unsure whether to believe him or not. "So why are you suffering such a bad hangover?" he probed, more gently this time.

Draco shrugged, struggling to look into Harry's eyes. "I don't know ... Maybe my drink was spiked!" Enthusiasm flooded into his voice now. "Maybe my drink was spiked and that's why I was drunk. I mean, I've drunk a lot more that before, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. But -"

"And they do say that you can't remember the previous night if your drinks been spiked, don't they. And I've already told you that I can't remember much of last night."

"But that might be because -"

"And I'm pretty sure that I lost muscle control towards the end of the night."

Harry's mouth dropped open at this. "W-what?" he managed to stammer out in shock.

Draco nodded seriously. "My legs just felt like they had no muscle in them," he lied. "I just remember walking around the club and clutching onto people because I thought I was going to fall over at any minute." Seeing Harry's shocked expression he decided it would be best to play on this story. "Yeah, and then I went into the toilet and this guy followed me in. He looked really suspicious and he kept sneering at me, like he had one over on me. I didn't see it at the time but now," he left a dramatic pause. "I guess I now see his sneers for what they really were."

Harry's mouth opened and closed uncontrollably as he wasn't sure what to say. Sensibly, he decided not to believe nor deny Draco's story. He simply responded with, "you're safe now, that's the main thing."

Draco nodded vigorously, glad he was off the hook. "Yes, I am," he replied softly and took another sip of tea. It had the taste of triumphant victory.

* * *

"Don't go."

"Draco, you know I have to."

"No, please don't ... I feel sick."

"Drake, stop it."

"No, I really do, I feel really sick."

Harry sighed. "Draco, stop it. I have to go, I've taken too many days off work for you before only for your sicknesses to miraculously disappear after ten minutes!"

"But this ones different," Draco whined. "I feel really bad. I've got a stomach bug and a killer headache."

Harry perched himself on the edge of the couch that Draco was lying on pathetically. "There's some medicine if it gets any worse, you know where it is."

"But I feel really, really, really bad. I ... I think that the spiked drink is starting to effect me really badly now." He knew that this statement could either goad Harry into staying or have him leave the house in a temper.

"I ..." Harry began, and then stopped.

"Please Harry," Draco said, looking directly into Harry's eyes. He sat up, wincing for good measure, and took hold of one of Harry's hands in his own. "Please stay here with me," he begged, planting soft kisses over his hand. "I don't like being on my own."

"Drake," Harry said, a slight whine coming into his own voice. He hated Draco for manipulating him like this. He couldn't stand the thought of him being alone and vulnerable in the house, even though he knew in his heart of hearts that that wasn't the case. He needed to be tougher with him, put his foot down in a while. This wasn't working; it was more of a parent and child relationship than an equal one. It had to stop.

"No Draco," he said forcefully, pulling his hand away. "I have to go." Seeing Draco's face droop, he added, "Besides, how are you going to afford that sexy underwear I love if I don't go to work?"

Draco scowled. "Fine, go to work," he snapped, throwing himself back down on the couch. "But don't blame me if it's boring and you want to come home!"

Harry planted a tender kiss on his forehead. "I won't. See you later babe."

"Yeah, bye," he replied uninterestedly. He heard the front door open and Harry's footsteps shuffling outside into the warm evening air and then the loud slam of the door shutting.

He was alone.

_**I was alone.**_

_**For the first time in my life, I was well and truly alone. As I walked through the dirty streets of London, hidden by the hustle and bustle of the city, I realised that I had nobody to turn to, nobody to help me. I let tears stream down my cheeks unashamedly. It didn't matter anyway. The city was far too busy to care for me.**_

_**I don't know how it happened. On one hand, it was a blessing. I was terrified of the dark lord and now his reign was over, I could live in peace. I could say his name out loud without fear. Voldermort. Voldermort, Voldermort, Voldermort. But on the other hand I was petrified. How could I live in peace when I was stuck in muggle London on my own? I wouldn't be able to cope. I wouldn't last a day. It certainly felt that way as I wandered through the repetitive streets desperately.**_

_**It had been strange. It had actually been fucking surreal. Voldermort had sent me to get the feather from the phoenix and I had walked out of the room. And I had carried on walking until I got out of his sight and then broke into a sprint. I didn't know where I was running to and I didn't care. I just couldn't carry on my life like this, serving a lord who's beliefs felt wrong to me. Those venomous words and insults I had hurled at people through school came flooding back to me, urging me to run faster. I hadn't believed in any of it. My father had instilled them into my brain.**_

_**I was true Slytherin, all right. The sorting hat hadn't got it wrong there. As I ran desperately out of the dank dungeons of the dark lords lair, the selfishness of the situation came to me. I was leaving Potter to be tortured before the dark lord and the death eaters circle. I was leaving my father to be probably punished for my betrayal once it had been discovered. And I was leaving behind my whole life forever. I would no doubt be found and brought before the death eaters and suffer all of the unforgivable curses before meeting my torturous death. But I didn't care. I didn't have time to think about the horrific consequences as I ran from the scene. **_

_**Yanking the robes from my body, I hurled myself out of the entrance, which was magically disguised as a dusty shop that had been closed down for a while and found myself in Diagon Alley. I took in deep, grateful breaths as a few people looked at me strangely. I brought my shaking hand to my face, desperately trying to keep it still so I could see the time. It was three seconds to midnight.**_

_**And three seconds later, it happened.**_

_**Diagon Alley vanished. Everyone in Diagon Alley vanished. And I was later to discover that the whole wizarding world had vanished.**_

_**It was the strangest experience that I had ever gone through. It felt ... Unexplainable. My heart felt like it was being ripped from my body without any anaesthesia. The screams around me sounded so hoarse, so full of pain. And the colours seemed to fade. The colours drained from everything and everyone until it was all monotone. And then Diagon Alley existed no more.**_

_**I found myself down a back alley in muggle London. I lay on a pile of bin bags for a while, shaking violently, hugging my arms around my body to keep warm. For a few minutes I stayed in that position until I found the strength to shakily stand up. I looked around and saw that I was at the entrance of Diagon Alley.**_

_**Teeth chattering loudly, I pushed the reddish bricks in sequence and waited for the wall to pull itself apart so I could gain entrance. I waited. I waited. And waited some more, but the wall remained firm. I remember thinking that because I was so cold that I probably pushed the wrong brick from shaking too much, so very slowly and very carefully I repeated pushing the bricks. And again, nothing happened.**_

_**Desperately I pushed them again for a third time. And a fourth and a fifth but the wall stood still and didn't allow me entrance into the wizarding world. Trying to remain calm, I reached into my back pocket to find the portkey I always carried around with me. It would take me home and I could ask my mother what the hell was going on. A cold lurch suddenly swept through me. I couldn't go back. I was a traitor. There was probably a warrant over my head to hunt me down and kill me. I backed away from the wall nervously, as though it was going to scream out and inform the dark lord of my whereabouts. **_

_**But even if I would have used the portkey it wouldn't have made a difference because it wasn't there. And neither was my wand. The only thing I could feel was the square leather of my British passport and a credit card - both of which my father had ordered me to have on my premises at all times.**_

_**I started to panic now. A wizard without a wand was useless. A wizard without any entrance to the wizarding world nor any magical item on them at all was fucked. So I ran. I raced through the streets of London, barging past people determinedly, their angry cries long disappearing from my ears. I was a man on a mission, though I felt like a little kid again right now. Twenty years of life experience yet I was five years old again at this very moment, running away from trouble.**_

_**I'd passed through muggle London a lot but never had I actually walked through and saw the place. Father had made sure of that. Associating with muggles was the worst thing a wizard could do and had informed me never to do so. So to say I was lost was a bit of an understatement. I didn't know where I was going but I knew where I needed to get to. Mersey's.**_

_**Mersey's was an old corner shop situated somewhere in central London. Each capital city in every country had a link between the wizarding world and the muggle world, and London's was in the form of a shop. If I could find it, I'd be able to at least ask what was going on. **_

_**For two hours I ran, walked and stumbled through the desolate back streets of London. The glamour of the city may have been alluring at day but at night, it was nothing more than a battleground of gang crime and gun culture. I kept hearing shots and looking around wildly. I couldn't help it. Yesterday I would have gladly walked through the same streets at night with a big target on my back if I had my wand with me, but now I was defenceless and I knew that a single bullet would take my life away. Not that it wouldn't have been preferable as to what the dark lord would do when he got his hands on me.**_

_**And I remember seeing the first sign of the upcoming day through the purplish sky just before I finally found it. An inconspicuous corner shop that looked both out of place, yet well concealed next to the large and important high street shops. I ran to the door and pushed myself against it but it didn't budge. Now I was really scared. Mersey's never shuts, it was a golden rule. Wizards all over the world could need it at any point and it had to remain open. I settled down into a sitting position and looked up at the night sky. Silver stars were dotted randomly in the purple hue and it was comforting to know that should this be the last night of my life, it was a beautiful one.**_

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_**I don't know how long I slept for but the sound of Mersey's front door opening loudly awoke me with a start. I looked up and saw a fat man with a reddish face step into the shop. I scrambled up and followed him in afterwards. He turned around and a slightly scared look washed over his face.**_

"_**I'm sorry, we're not -"**_

"_**I'm a little lost" I said quickly. "Could you help me?"**_

_**He thought about it for a second. "Okay," he replied with a confused look in his eyes. "What's the problem?"**_

"_**Well I just tried to get to Diagon Alley through the brick sequence entrance and it's not working. I did it five times and then I tried to use my portkey to get home but it's not there and it was before because I used it that morning and neither is my -"**_

"_**Okay, slow down sonny," he interrupted, cutting off my babbling. "Where did you say you want to go?"**_

"_**Diagon Alley," I said.**_

_**He responded by picking up a tattered book from the dusty shelf and flicked through it. "Okay, let's see ... We have a Digg Alley, is that the one you're looking for?"**_

"_**No," I said. "Diagon Alley." What was this guy thinking? How could he not know where Diagon Alley is?**_

_**He turned a couple of the pages and then put the book on the shelf. It was titled 'A-Z London'. "Sorry, I can't help you out mate. It wasn't in there."**_

"_**Well, it wouldn't be in a book!" I replied shrilly. I couldn't help it, I was really starting to get scared now.**_

"_**That book lists all the streets in London," he informed me sharply. **_

"_**It's not in London," I replied frustratingly. **_

"_**Well where is it?" he snapped, losing his temper now. "Birmingham? Manchester? Is it even in this country?"**_

"_**No!"**_

"_**Well where is it?"**_

"_**How could you not know where it is? Everyone knows where it is!"**_

"_**Well you go and ask everyone then if they know," he retorted. "If everyone knows, how come you don't, huh? Now I'm sorry but I must ask you to leave. The shop isn't even open today."**_

"_**I don't - what?" I was genuinely confused now. "What did you just say? You're not open? Why?"**_

_**The man looked as confused as I was with my sudden change in the conversation. "It's not exactly ready to be opened now as you can see," he said, indicating the dirty shop with his hand. "The last owners didn't believe in cleaning so it seems."**_

"_**The - the last owners?"**_

"_**Yes," he replied. "I've recently brought this shop. Today's the first time that I've came here, actually."**_

_**My jaw hit the floor. What the hell was going on?**_

"_**Are you all right?" the man asked nervously. I backed away from him. I didn't know what was going on. "Mate, you all right?" he enquired again. I responded by running out of the shop. I ran as fast as my legs would take me. The streets were crowded now and I must have pissed off hundreds of people as I sprinted past them, roughly knocking them out of my way. I ran until I found the familiar bricks of Diagon Alley and I pushed them in sequence desperately.**_

"_**Come on," I yelled angrily, tears streaming down my face. The wall didn't move. I bunched my hand into a fist and punched the bricks as hard as I could. My blood was smeared all over the wall and my hand but the bricks still denied me entrance. I sank to a sitting position bitterly. What the fuck was going on?**_

_**And that's how I found myself six weeks later; still confused. My own theory was the spell that Voldermort had tried to perform went wrong and it wiped out the entire wizarding world. The reason why I was still alive was a bit jumbled up but I put it down to the fact that I wasn't in the same room at the time. And being a death eater - a disloyal one, but a death eater nonetheless - I had been unaffected by the spell.**_

_**It was hard to think that nothing or nobody existed anymore. I didn't have anybody. My whole family had been wiped out. Everyone I had ever known had been wiped out. Hogwarts had been wiped out. The Daily Prophet, Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley, spells, wands, port keys, everything to do with wizardry had gone. **_

_**Luckily I had a trump card. Two in fact. I never underestimated my fathers cleverness but I didn't acknowledge how clever he actually was. Though he despised muggles, he didn't cut them out of his life completely. When telling me he was setting up a muggle bank account at the age of fourteen, I wasn't interested. The quidditch world cup matches were taking place and that was far more interesting than a stupid bank account. But now I silently thanked him for saving my life as I walked into the branch where he had set it up after my knock back at Mersey's. **_

_**The second trump card I had was my fathers insistence that we each had a duplicated card and we carried it around with us everywhere we went. I stropped sulkily at first for the sake of it, but found as time went on I actually liked having the passport and card. It made me feel more secure somehow. **_

"_**Good morning sir," the bank clerk said. She was a young woman in her early twenties.**_

"_**Hi, I'd like to draw some money out of my account," I said quietly. **_

"_**Okay, could I have your card please sir?"**_

_**I didn't want to hand it over but I did reluctantly. She swiped the card through a machine and studied a computer screen for a few seconds. She slowly brought her eyes up to mine in suspicion.**_

"_**Your current balance is seven hundred and sixty five thousand pounds sir," she said slowly. **_

"_**Okay, can I draw the money out?" I licked my lips nervously.**_

"_**I'll need to see some proof of identification first sir," she replied. I took my passport out of my back pocket and thrust it at her. She studied it like a hawk and then a small smile came over her face.**_

"_**Okay sir, how much would you like?"**_

"_**All of it."**_

"_**In fifties, sir?"**_

"_**Er, yeah." I didn't know what that meant.**_

_**She beckoned me closer with a finger. "May I suggest a briefcase or duffel bag sir?" she said quietly. "For the money," she explained upon seeing my confused expression.**_

"_**Oh, right," I replied, not knowing what she was talking about.**_

"_**I have one you can use," she said giving me a wink. "Only, you'll have to bring it back. I can give you my address and telephone number, if you want it..." She left the sentence trailing as she stood up, her short skirt exposing her slender thighs. She was outrageously coming onto me. She'd turned from the frosty bitch from hell to the seductive sex siren after learning that I had money in my account. By the way her eyes grew wide as saucers when she looked at my account details, I knew that there must be quite a bit in there.**_

"_**Sir, could you follow me please?" She led the way to a small room where, as promised, stood a large bag. She bent over, exposing her shapely ass and reached for a large box. **_

"_**In forms of fifty thousand sir, that's fifty, one hundred, one fifty, two hundred ..." She piled in bundles of notes into the bag as she counted and then secured it tightly with a bright smile. "Have a nice day sir," she purred. **_

"_**Thanks," I replied dully picking up the bag.**_

"_**Oh and sir?" I looked back enquiringly.**_

"_**If there's anything I can do to make your day nicer, and I do mean anything -" She stepped closer and massaged my cock through the fabric of my jeans with an expert hand, "- let me know."**_

"_**I will," I replied, removing her hand from my crotch. "Bye now."**_

_**I spent the next few days in a nice hotel and whiled away the time by swimming in the pool or relaxing in the sauna. I also visited London attractions and despite the strangeness of the whole situation, it was actually nice just to be able to relax. I also started looking at housing prices. I found that I had more than enough money to live in a nice enough house in London. Nothing on my old house of course, but it was liveable and certainly nicer than some of the other shitholes that were featured in the property newspapers.**_

_**I didn't realise how easy it was to buy a house. I started having words such as mortgages and rent thrown at me and I was lost within seconds. When I finally managed to ask whether they wanted the money straight away, things became much more easier. I handed over the cash and it was done. Nothing to worry about.**_

_**I had about a hundred and fifty thousand left and spent lavish amounts of it on clothes. Materialistic it might have been but it was what I was accustomed to and I could afford it. **_

_**It was on one of my many expeditions around London that my life took a dramatic turn. I was walking through the streets of Soho when I bumped into someone. The familiar features were all there. I'd seen that face a thousand times but the emerald eyes, wild hair and that damn scar still came as a shock to me. My link with the wizarding world had just returned.**_

_**Through the form of Harry Potter.**_

Harry had gone.

Draco bit his nails nervously for a few minutes, ruining the manicure he had paid for a week ago. He heard a creak behind him and he jumped in shock, turning around quickly. It was probably nothing but his heart was still beating dramatically, threatening to burst out of his chest.

The phone rang and Draco nearly jumped out of his skin. Calming himself down, he walked over to where it sat in the hallway.

"Hello?" he said breathlessly.

"How you doing Ty?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm fine Roger," he replied through gritted teeth. "What do you want?"

"I just got some brand new coke imported from Amsterdam. Beautiful stuff Ty, beautiful stuff. Makes you feel on top of the world."

Draco's world felt like shit at that moment. "How much?"

"Because its you, I'll give you seventy for a gram."

"It was fifty last night!"

"Yeah but this is top stuff Ty."

Draco thought about it for a second. "Where shall we meet?"

"Waterloo station, half an hour?"

He could imagine Roger grinning like crazy at the thought of having him on his dependency. Right now though, he couldn't give a damn.

"Done."

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**And there's the first chapter, well, the first full length chapter. Interesting but pointless fact: I've been writing this for over a week and with many of Draco's scenes, I was actually feeling the same as he was. When he was drunk at the club, so was I. When he was suffering from a hangover, so was I. And when he was feeling lost and alone in London, I remembered first moving here and put my energy into writing it. See, I told you it was a pointless fact but I thought some of you might like to know! **

**It does take a while for me to write these chapters, as I like to be in the right frame of mind when doing so, so I don't know when the next update will be, but please be patient with me! I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, and I promise that an Update of _A Spiders Web _will be coming soon. I just had to get this down on paper first though! **

**Please review! Love Jordan x **


	3. Two

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this. **

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**Q AND A'S: **(Questions that people have asked that** aren't** featured here will be resolved somewhere in the story. The questions below are what some people have asked which **wont** be explained in the story, or are questions that are off-topic from the story. You may or may not want to read them as I suppose in some ways they could be a spoiler, but I'm pretty sure that if you did, it wouldn't ruin the story as you wouldn't have found out anyway!):

**The explanation of why the wizarding world died:** Because the flashbacks are told from Draco's point of view who clearly has no idea what happened, the mystery of why the wizarding world vanished isn't going to be resolved in the story. However, for those who want to know, Draco pretty much had it right. Voldemort's spell allowed him and his death eaters to live while the rest of the wizards died. However, because the feather from the phoenix (which some believe - myself included - represents eternal life and rebirth) was never used in the spell, it went wrong and killed not only the wizards, but the wizarding world, Voldemort, and the death eaters too. It didn't kill Draco because he was covered by Voldemort's spell being a death eater, and wasn't in the same room as Harry when midnight struck and the spell was cast. Harry's reason for being alive isn't explained at all, other than the fact that he is simply Harry Potter!

**My own personal experiences:** Later in the story, (as you learn from the first chapter), Draco gets addicted to heroin. That's the only part of the story that I will have to write with no personal knowledge. I regularly take cocaine and ecstasy and drink alcohol excessively (it's slowly leaving me broke which I'm not too happy about, and leaving my body in a fucked up intoxicated state quite frankly.) But Draco's main experience in the story no way reflects my own though in this chapter I noticed that I drew a lot of little experiences I've been through and weaved them into the story.

**Why Draco has adopted a different name:** You know sometimes when you're writing, and you have a really good idea? So you insert it into your story and think nothing of it until you post your story and then get questions about why you did it? So you start to think of an explanation and then become stumped because, in all honesty, you have no idea what possessed you to come up with it in the first place? This is one of those times! I have no idea why I thought Draco should be known throughout muggle London as Tyler, but he's stuck with it now! For the sake of the story, pretend I've given you a really elaborate explanation!

**Continuing Harry Potter and the horrors of homophobia:** Sorry, but that's a definite no! I know I originally said it was just on a hiatus until a later date, but I've decided that its completed and finished for good now. I'm sorry for its discontinue!

**Thank you to:** ura-hd, Aki-Hoshi, Perfect by Nature, Princesspepper, MelaminEstel and Lucine **for your great reviews and comments! Thank you so, so much guys, I really appreciate them all! Now, on with the story!**

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_The last chapter expanded over:_ **June 6th and June 7th**_and ended with Draco proposing to meet Roger to buy more cocaine._

_This chapter expands over:_

**June 18th**

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He could only hear one side of the whispered conversation from the bathroom but the hushed tones and urgency in the voice was enough to arouse suspicion. Speculation bubbled up inside of him with every snooped word he heard and he needed to find out more. He felt a slight twinge of guilt for prying on his boyfriend like this, but his behaviour had grew so erratic over the last week that he felt it justified his actions.

"Why won't you be there tonight?"

He crept silently out of the bathroom. He stiffened at the sound of an angry huff.

"Well, can't you meet me before you leave?"

He waited until he could hear his boyfriends voice again before tiptoeing further down the hall until he was positioned outside where the conversation was taking place. Looking through the crack in the slightly ajar door that led to the bedroom, he could see him pacing the room anxiously, a pained look upon his face. One hand was held to his forehead in stress and every so often, normally when he gave a small cry of protest to whoever he was speaking to on the phone, he would run his hand through his hair, down to the nape of his neck and give it a quick, comforting massage.

"Tell them you'll come later. Come on, I really need this."

He watched him chew on his lip anxiously, his eyes slowly beginning to brim up with tears. Something major must be wrong to unsettle the cool Draco Malfoy and Harry was itching to find out.

"Well do you know anyone else that can get some?"

His voice hadn't sounded that shrill since second year at Hogwarts, Harry mused. He felt a punch to the stomach with a steel fist when he realised what thought just entered his mind. He had long learnt that the best way to recover from any tragedy was numbness and doused out any former memories he remembered as quickly as he could. But sometimes his mind was too quick to be fooled by this smokescreen technique and memories that mercilessly cut his heart into a million pieces slipped in.

It was hard to think that almost everybody he had ever known in his whole life had been taken away from him. To say he was getting used to it would be taking it too far, but he had certainly managed to plough ahead, mentally blocking out any pain that he felt. But this had been a blow too hard to handle. Everyone and everything had been wiped out. It felt like his memory had been chopped up unequally and he had been lumped with the smallest part. It was hard to grasp that people he had known, people he had loved just didn't exist anymore. His heart ached and bled internally whenever he remembered his former life that had been cruelly snatched away.

Because of Voldemort. When quick flashbacks unwittingly entered his mind, one image always stood out clear. It was a repetitive wishful fantasy that he had and it involved Voldemort rising from the dead. Harry would run at him with outstretched arms and tear him from limb to limb. He could almost feel the flesh coming apart as Voldemort's skin embedded itself underneath his fingernails. He could almost smell the unmistakeable scent of blood as he opened up new wounds and split them apart. And he could almost hear screams of pure agony as he ripped into him with his bare hands. He wouldn't have felt any amount of pain compared to what Harry had gone through, but at least he'd die in torture.

"Well fine fuck you, you bastard! Thanks for nothing!"

Harry barely had time to snap out of his thoughts as Draco's footsteps thundered towards the door. He ran down the corridor as quickly and silently as he could, only just making it to the bathroom before the bedroom door was flung open and Draco stormed out.

"Something wrong Drake?" Harry asked nonchalantly, pretending he had just came out the bathroom. He studied Draco's face carefully, trying to spot any signs of guilt but all he could register was pure anger. Going by the phone conversation, that was real at least.

"It's nothing," Draco said dismissively, his expression contorted into the definition of rage.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, why should there be?" And there it was. He had jumped into a defensive mode so quickly that it became obvious to Harry that something was definitely up. But how could he challenge Draco when not only was he eavesdropping on a private conversation but also when he didn't understand what the conversation had been about in the first place.

"No reason, you just look -"

"I'm fine Harry," Draco snapped nastily. "Just stop trying to analyse me all the time."

"I wasn't -" Harry protested but Draco ignored him as he stomped down the stairs unnecessarily loudly, jumping the bottom step and landing on the floor hard. Harry sighed. Draco was such a fucking prick sometimes, so spoilt and selfish and self involved. He couldn't bear the thought of someone taking care of him lest he feel the need of dependency. He'd always been like that ever since they first met, but lately ... It had turned into something else. Gone were the occasional mood swings, they had now turned into full bouts of rage. They weren't even easy to spot on the horizon either, it could normally be just a single word or act that would spark him off and he'd suddenly flip out. Harry had definitely found the relationship slide to one side recently, in favour of Draco. He found himself to be rather scared in his enraged states, though he never let it show. On the surface if not equal, then it was most certainly Harry who seemed to be in control of the two but more often than not in these cases, what goes on behind closed doors definitely doesn't reflect what everybody else sees.

He'd challenged him about it a week ago. But Draco had charged up to him so fast that Harry had shrunk back into a corner afraid. Draco instantly snapped out of his rage and comforted him apologetically and Harry had just as instantly snapped out of his fear and recomposed himself. Whether Draco remembered this as a poignant moment or not remained a mystery to Harry who thought of that specific memory as the real turning point in their relationship.

"I'm going out," Draco's emotionless voice came from downstairs.

"What? Hold on!" Harry ran down the stairs two at a time and stepped into the living room. Draco was putting on his long black winter coat. "Where are you going?"

"Poison," came the short reply. He was in no mood to be grilled.

"Now? I've still got an hour before I have to leave for work."

"So? I want to go out now," It was a sulky response and Draco knew it. The telephone conversation had left him in a foul mood and as Harry was the only one around he was going to bear the brunt of it.

"So can't you wait for a bit until you go? We haven't spent much time together recently," Harry said, going over to Draco and wrapping his arms around his neck. "Please?" He leaned in slowly and softly kissed Draco on the lips several times. He then parted his lips open with his tongue and gently explored Draco's warm mouth with it. Draco responded half-heartedly at first, trying to shrug off Harry's advances but as his erection grew harder with every stroke of Harry's tongue on his own, he began to fall fully into the seductive trap. Pulling his face away, he shunned his coat before taking Harry by the waist and slamming him forcefully into a wall. He grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head, allowing him to take full control of the situation, tattooing Harry's neck with love bites, who leaned into Draco's tongue eagerly.

Draco moved back to Harry's lips attacking him with a rough kiss, using his tongue to dominate his mouth fully. Harry's breathing grew harder as Draco's tongue became his life support. He moaned in soft disappointment as he felt the absence of his expert tongue leaving his body for a while before groaning with pure ecstasy when Draco undid the buttons of his shirt and sucked hard on his left nipple. Harry pushed his chest forward, desperately inviting Draco to take in more of the soft, slightly puffed up flesh that got his member hard as a rock. And Draco did just that, using his lips, tongue and teeth to tantalisingly tease Harry's torso.

Harry shivered in delight at every wet touch of Draco's delicious yet malicious tongue that was now leaving his chest and making its way back up to his mouth, invading it completely and taking control. Harry threw back his head and leant it against the wall in rapturous bliss. Draco always knew what got him going and every kiss, every suck and every bite that he planted on Harry's body was planned carefully in a choreographed sequence that kept him on edge all through the sexual journey taking place.

Harry's cock was straining against the fabric of his pants now and he wanted nothing more than to push Draco's head down and have him take it fully into his hot mouth. But he was unable to do so while Draco still had his wrists pinned above his head and Draco seemed to know this as he smiled wickedly up at Harry. He lowered his head as far as it would go while still holding his wrists and managed to just about reach Harry's bellybutton. Harry thrust his hips into Draco's face urgently but it was no good. His cock was still too far away and under the restraint of his pants to be taken in by that expert mouth.

"Draco pleaaa ... ohhhhh god!"

Draco smirked at the dependency he had his boyfriend hooked on. "What was that Harry?" he asked with a grin, meeting his boyfriends eyes.

Harry's body was slumped save for his wrists that were still supported by Draco's strong grip. "Please, Draco. Please. Oh fucking please! Oh god, come on!" he managed to stammer out between pants.

The telephone rang rudely and Draco averted his eyes from Harry's glistening chest and looked over at it. "Maybe I should go and answer it?" he pondered out loud in faux innocence.

"No!" Harry begged. "Leave it!"

"But it could be someone important ..." Draco said, relishing in the enjoyment he felt as Harry pleaded with him to finish what he started. The answering machine took pity on Harry's sexually frustrated moment and took the call instead. The familiar female electronic voice informed the caller that they weren't able to take their call right now, but would they like to leave a message? And the caller did just that, filling up the room with a ringing cockney accent.

"Hello, it's Rog calling for Tyler. You there Ty? Pick up if you are ..."

"Oh it's just Roger, leave it," Harry purred, expecting Draco to comply but to his complete horror, he ruthlessly left him standing there with his meat throbbing between his legs as he ran across the room and pounced desperately on the phone.

"Yeah hi, I'm here," he gabbled, unaware of the furious looks that Harry was sending in his direction. "You have? What? Oh ..." Draco's face fell at this point but then perked up again. "Well if I take enough then ... Well yeah, that's brilliant! Oh thanks Roger, you're the - what? Now? Right now? It's just that ... No, no, sure! I understand. Yep. I'll meet you at the usual spot in about ... five minutes? Yep! Okay! Bye!"

He turned back to Harry with a pleased look on his face and was surprised when he was met with an acidly sour one in return. "What's wrong?" he asked confusedly.

Harry opened his mouth but was left speechless. Instead he gestured incredulously to the bulge that was slowly softening in his pants .

Draco rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Fine," he said dully as if Harry had just ordered him to clean the entire house from top to bottom. He slunk back to Harry, yanked his trousers down and uninterestedly proceeded to jerk his cock with a bored hand. Harry grew more livid by the second and when Draco had the audacity to openly sigh and check his watch before asking, "how long is this exactly going to take Harry?", he gave a roar of anger, pulled his pants back up and stomped upstairs.

"Harry," Draco called after him, "Harry, I'm going now ... " He waited, but he didn't get a response. "Fine! Be in a mood with me, selfish!"

A fuming Harry was pacing around in the bedroom upstairs controlling the extreme desire he had to go downstairs and yank Draco back inside the house by his hair. He was such a fucker, always twisting situations around so he was never to blame. Harry had felt slightly petty when he had ran to the bedroom because he didn't receive the blowjob he had ached for and had considered going down to say goodbye when Draco told him he was leaving, but he had came to his senses and put those feelings aside immediately. He was _not _to blame for this and he was _not _the selfish one here, Draco was. After all, he was the one who had left the house in such a hurry, for _Roger _of all people. What did he want with Roger? All he had to offer were second hand goods on the market stall he owned, yet Draco couldn't leave quick enough to meet him.

Harry chewed on his lip relentlessly. He often thought that this relationship was not going to work. How could it, it had been doomed from the start admittedly. They were not made for each other and they both knew it. They had a certain love for each other, but both knew that if it wasn't for the circumstances, they would have both had the feelings that they'd grown up through school with. Venomous hatred. It was only the fact that they _had _to be together that they were. Not out of love.

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It was shit.

The music was shit the people were shit the club was shit the night was shit and the coke was shit. Shit, shit and a big pile of more fucking shit. Roger had warned him that it wasn't up to the usual standards but Draco had barely felt a reaction to the two lines he'd just done in the toilets. Granted, they were thin lines to make the gram last longer but he could still usually feel it having some sort of an effect by now. Giving the clubbers on the dance floor a contemptuous glare as if it was their fault that his coke was crap, he stormed to the toilets angrily. After waiting in line for what seemed like forever for an empty cubicle, he threw himself in there, locking the door behind him and carefully poured the contents from the small sealed sachet onto the toilet seat lid. Using his bank card, he separated a third of the white granules and proceeded to divide it into a thin straight line. He then produced a ten pound note from his pocket, rolled it up neatly and, holding his right nostril shut, prepared to snort the powder up his left nostril and into his brain. But something was holding him back. He didn't want to waste this crap and he knew that if he frequently took it separately, it would have no effect whatsoever. However, if he took it all at once ... Grinning to himself slightly at his cleverness, he pushed the coke into one big thick line and snorted the whole lot.

He threw his head back and rested his body against the cubicle door for a moment. He willed the coke to travel fast to his tilted head. This night was such a let down and he was beginning to feel pangs of guilt about how he treated Harry. That wasn't good. He'd long learnt to throw away any emotions with discard and feeling guilty right now was not on his current agenda, or any of his agenda's for that matter. Harry was just a lifeless vessel. Just like he himself was and just like everybody else in the world was. It didn't matter how he treated people or how he was perceived because he was nothing, really. Just a lifeless vessel filled with emotions that he didn't want to feel but was stuck with. He pumped this into his brain everyday and he pumped it into it now as the cheap coke infiltrated his mind.

Someone hammered on the cubicle. It sounded distant; far away, friendly and welcoming, like a knock on a door that led to a dream-filled paradise. It happened again, this time more urgent and needy. Draco didn't like the sound of that and by the third time the fist hammered it sounded deadly and cutting, perfectly able to rip his insides apart. These random thoughts penetrated through his brain as he managed to stagger to a standing position. The cubicle swirled around him for a couple of seconds and as the fist banged on the door for the fourth time he felt himself slipping into the familiar soothing sensation of a cocaine-filled mind he had lived most of his life on for the past day or so.

Had it been a day? It felt like much longer. Maybe a week. Or two. Or three. Maybe it had been a month. Or several. Perhaps a year? A decade? What was time really? Just an alarm clock waiting to sound off and inform people that theirs was up. It's a mysterious thing, time. It begins as being a friend. Well, that's the first contradiction right there. Time begins from the moment someone takes their first breath although it has always existed really. Yet how come time stops when you die? Is time actually a concept? Does it exist? How can something so eternal, something so constant yet something so secondary to life - although it's the function that controls it - exist? How can there be different time zones if it's the same thing and people can communicate with each other faster than time itself? It means that some must live through the future before the future has reached others and some are living in the past while the past has already played out. But on the notion that it does exist, time starts off by being a friend. It bestows people with youth and vitality before snatching it back gleefully while peoples souls and bodies decay together, unable to do anything about it. But time doesn't care. Once it's done with someone it carries on selfishly as it always has and always will. And his time was up now. The alarm clock was ringing. Relentlessly it rang shrilly, piercing his eardrums, invading his mind.

It took Draco a while to realise that it was a mobile phone sounding off. When he was brought back to his senses, he was aware of the fist banging on the door impatiently for what seemed like the hundredth time now. He felt slight woozy, yet disappointed as he knew the main high from the gram of coke was over. A fucking gram and that's all he had experienced? What a waste of fifty pounds.

He yanked open the door so fiercely that the guy who was next in line didn't bother to pursue an argument and slinked past him without a fuss. A few glares from the long queue were omitted at him but Draco barely registered them as he stormed out of the toilet. The music hit him loudly and the last dregs of emotion affected by the coke appreciated the noise. He nodded his head to the beat for a while, scanning the crowd for the person he wanted to find. When his eyes spotted his target, he moved through the clubbers swiftly and tapped him on the back.

"Alright, Ty!"

"Hello Mike," Draco replied brusquely. He had no time for chit-chat, this was strictly business. He hardly wanted anything to do with the twenty two year old stood in front of him. Drugs had fucked him up badly. Craggy-faced and haggard, he looked as though he'd fit in more in the over thirty-five age group than his own. Dealers hardly ever dabbled in the drugs that they dealt but Mike had experimented with the ones he got hold of freely and frequently. A juvenile mind and badly aged face was the result.

"What do you want from me then, Ty? A shag?" He snickered at this.

"Some charlie, actually," Draco said in a disdainful manner. Mike bobbed his head up and down to the music wildly before returning his attention back to Draco.

"None left, soz mate! But the offer of the shag still stands!"

"You haven't got _any _left?" Draco asked disbelievingly. He'd only met Mike through Roger for the first time that night yet he had already learnt to take everything he said with a pinch of salt and had to ask things a number of times until he got the answer he desired.

"Nope, sorry," Mike replied, rocking to the drum and base beat. "But I have another remedy for a bad night!" He stopped dancing and chewed on his tongue in deep thought as he searched the breast pocket on his cheap shirt for what he was looking for. A smile lit up on his face and he whipped out something so fast that Draco didn't have time to see what it was. After fumbling with something in his hands for a few seconds, Mike popped something in his mouth and turned to Draco.

"Snog me," he instructed.

"No thanks," Draco snapped in annoyance. Mike couldn't be the only dealer in the club and he was just about to turn away and find somebody else when Mike pressed on.

"No, snog me," he insisted. Draco looked at him disgustedly, and then his expression changed as Mike flashed his tongue briefly. On it, lying innocently and rather inconspicuous was a small pill broken in half, roughly the size of half a normal button on a shirt.

"What is it?" Draco asked interestedly.

"Your key to a good night mate," Mike shouted over the music enthusiastically. "And it's yours for the price of snogging me and taking it off my tongue."

Draco hesitated for a moment, looking at the creviced lines in Mike's face. Who knows what the fuck he had in his mouth but if the result was a mug like his then Draco could do without.

But could he? He'd already experienced great fury over the fact that his night had been a huge disappointment, his guilt was beginning to return over the situation with Harry and now he was about to turn away the chance to change the whole night, perhaps for the better. Could he do without the small, weak looking thing being warmed by Mike's mouth?

His mind answered for him and in one movement he leaned forward, parted Mike's cracked lips open and deftly removed the flat, small half-moon shaped pill from Mike's tongue with his own.

"Swallow it whole mate," Mike instructed and Draco did just that. He felt slightly flushed, not knowing what he had just done and a swirling feeling of doubt hit the pit of his stomach. "Now listen here Ty," Mike said, gripping Draco's shoulder and pulling him in close, talking directly into his ear over the loud music. "This is important. Make sure you drink plenty of water, but not too much, right?"

Draco tried to pull away from the hot dirty breath in his ear. Mike was really fucked up. What shit advice; drink plenty but not too much. That practically didn't make any sense.

"And no alcohol, all right?" he continued. Draco dismissed him with a wave of the hand. What a fucking crackhead, he thought to himself. He detached himself from Mike, who looked vaguely concerned about him as he lost himself in the crowd. He didn't bother to placate his worry however, he just wanted to get as far away from him as possible, the drugged up, fucked up freak ...

* * *

"Two aftershocks, one red, one blue."

Stupid Mike didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. He should have known though, really. How could half a tiny pill like that have an effect on him like coke did? There was no way. And all he had succeeded from it was staying sober for the last twenty minutes waiting for the non-existent effects to kick in.

Well screw that. He planned on getting blinding drunk now, so much so that the club would turn so hazy that it would_ have_ turn out to be a good night. The barman brought his drinks over and smiled at him unnecessarily longer than he had to. Draco smiled back and gave him the slightest hint of a wink, for the barman to react how he wanted to. He could pretend he didn't see it and regret not reacting on it for the entire night or act upon it only for Draco to turn him down. He snickered inside as he saw the barman throw him a vague smile, not sure if it was the right thing to do or not. He loved playing with peoples emotions like this. It made him feel better about his own.

He downed the shots one after another. Ice blue first to cool his stomach before the fire hot red lit a raging inferno. His empty stomach rumbled in angry protest; it needed food not alcohol, but Draco didn't care as he ordered two more green aftershocks.

He swallowed the mint-laced liquids, screwing up his mouth in disgust at the strong medicine-like tang. He ordered another blue one to get the taste out of his mouth before shuffling from the stool and staggering over to the dance floor. The aftershocks on his empty stomach were beginning to give him the desired effects he was hoping for.

A drum and base dance song filled up the club to the delight of the clubbers who cheered loudly at the opening beats. Draco didn't think much of the song - he preferred to listen to music that wasn't in the charts - but tonight it sounded different. It was as almost as though he was at a live concert; he could hear every beat and every sound effect in the song, even down to the tinny clicks that usually went unheard from being drowned out by the other sounds. It seemed to be surrounding him as well. The music was like air and it was intoxicating his body though it felt surprisingly good as he started to dance wildly with the other clubbers.

The song ended and another began and to Draco's delight, he found that he enjoyed this one too. A huge grin that got bigger every time a new song came on was plastered onto his face and by the time the eighth song came on in a stint of great tunes, his mouth should have been aching from the stretch of his wide smile.

But he couldn't feel any aches or any pains or anything at all. His body felt like it had been overtaken by a higher source of power that allowed him to be free and enjoy life. He felt like running around the club screaming happily at the euphoric state he was in. Everything was so perfect. The night was fantastic and the people were great and he loved everyone and everything around him.

A young girl caught his eye and he smiled and gave her a thumbs up. She was quite pretty, with curly blonde hair and dressed in a halter neck top, a mini skirt and knee high boots. She smiled back before sidling over to him.

"Hello mate!"

"Hey!"

"You having a good time then?"

"Yeah," Draco replied, pumped up and enthused. "I'm having a wicked night! You?"

"Yeah, cool mate, cool!"

"What's your name?"

"Sandra, yours?"

"Draco!"

Sandra burst out laughing. Draco looked at her worriedly before joining in after seeing the tears streaming down her cheeks as she laughed uncontrollably. The pair were in fits of laughter that drew a few interested stares as they held their ribs that hurt from the hilarity. After sobering up from the humorous hysterics, Sandra looked at Draco again and collapsed into a fresh heap of giggles that started him off again.

"What are ..." Draco managed to gasp out in rasping breaths before succumbing to the humour and laughing uncontrollably again. His face was beginning to burn up but he couldn't stop laughing, everything was so hilarious.

"What are we laughing at?" he finally managed to stammer.

Sandra laughed off a few stray giggles before a thoughtful look came over her pondering face. "I don't know," she admitted finally. She stared at Draco for a moment before the pair broke down into more manic laughter. Wiping away tears they linked arms and made a beeline for the bar.

"Can I get a bottle of water please mate?" Sandra asked the woman behind the bar.

"I feel like one of those," Draco said.

"You feel like a bottle of water? Do you feel all wet?" Sandra laughed. Draco screamed with laughter at the thought of living life as a bottle of water. He dug deep in his pocket as his body shook from hysteric spasms and fumbled around for three pound coins. He put them into the woman's open palm who proceeded to drop one on the floor. Sandra, who had just taken a sip of water, spat it out accidentally and cackled at the dropped coin on the ground.

Draco's attention had been taken by something else at this point. His body craved water but as he gulped it down refreshingly, Mike's earlier warning flooded back to him.

"What does it mean if someone says drink but don't drink?" he asked Sandra thoughtfully.

Sandra's face screwed up in concentration as the pair made their way to the chill out room and sank back on one of the comfy sofas. "Maybe it means that they're acting like they want you to drink but they don't really want you to?" she offered.

"But why?" Draco asked.

"Maybe it's because they want it for themselves?" Sandra replied.

Draco's eyes widened. "Because they're not really your friend?" he mused.

Sandra nodded excitedly. "Maybe," she agreed. "Because you just can't trust people these days can you?"

Draco shook his head. "I know, it's just so fucking bad that nobody can be trusted."

"But I trust you though!"

"Me too! You're one of the greatest people I've ever met!"

"I was about to say the same thing about you!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Maybe we're psychic but we don't know yet."

Draco gasped. "Do you think so?"

"Well yeah, lots of people are psychic these days," Sandra said knowledgably. Draco nodded, taking in every word she was saying. This philosophical conversation was stimulating and he was enjoying every minute of it. He was enjoying every minute of the entire night. He was just enjoying life in general. Life was great.

"Psychic's a strange word to spell isn't it?" Sandra said absently.

Draco nodded. "Yeah because it sounds like it starts with an S when it's really a P."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Sandra sniggered. "Yeah."

"Yeah!"

"YEAH!"

Draco laughed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Sandra suddenly stiffened. "Oh my god."

"What?" Draco asked concernedly.

She turned to him with wide eyes. "I remember what we was laughing about earlier on!"

"What was it?"

"Your name! What is it again?"

"Draco," he replied before gasping and clapping a hand over his mouth. "Oh my god, it's not!"

Sandra narrowed her eyes. "What is it then?"

"Tyler."

"Why did you say it was something else then?"

"I don't know. I thought it was funny," Draco lied, chuckling to himself and expecting Sandra to laugh along with him. A warning flag was signalling him in the back of his mind. He knew that it was wrong to tell Sandra the truth but she seemed so nice and so trusting that he felt as though he wanted to pour out his heart to her. She'd understand. She'd make everything right. He had found his soul mate in this club and it was fantastic.

Sandra had apparently forgotten the conversation as she swayed to the relaxing music dreamingly. It was soothing yet at a nice enough pace to keep Draco satisfied.

"Want a piece of bubble gum?" Sandra asked, snapping on hers like crazy.

"Thanks," said Draco taking a piece. He hadn't noticed it before but he was grinding his teeth away against each other so hard that the tips of them were aching with numbness. His mouth felt fizzy and active and he wished he had a whole packet of gum to chew on as he chomped away viciously.

"Do you ever wonder how gum is made?"

"Yeah," said Draco who had never thought about it in his life. "How do they make it stretchy?"

"And bubbly."

"It's fascinating really."

"I hate that word."

Draco giggled. "Why?"

Sandra shrugged. "It's just annoying. It reminds me of museums."

Draco made a disgusted face. "I hate museums."

"Oh my god, me too!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Do you hate action films too?"

"No, I like action films actually."

"Really?" Sandra asked in disbelief.

Draco nodded. "They're okay."

"Yeah, I guess they are."

"But romantic comedies aren't."

"Oh god, no," said Sandra in agreement.

"They're so annoying!"

"And pathetic!"

Draco smirked. "I know! Like anyone meets their match in the supermarket and then spends the rest of their lives together!"

Sandra was twirling a lock of hair from her fringe round her index finger. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Oh my god, yes!" Draco enthused. Sandra looked pleased with this. "Yeah, you are, you really are," he continued. "I mean, if I weren't gay and everything, I'd get with you!"

Sandra looked as though she had been paid the biggest compliment in the world. "I'd so get with you too!"

The pair hugged and Draco was suddenly aware of the physical contact their bodies were having. His heartbeat quickened as they continued to invade each others space, but rather than pull away he pulled her in closer, breathing in her perfumed scent.

"Back in a minute babe," Sandra suddenly said pulling away. She got off the sofa and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before floating back into the clubbing room. Draco watched her go as the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him sparked with electric excitement. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and little shivers of anticipation ran down his spine.

Draco busied the time away by watching the conversations that were taking place between people. He saw three girls sitting on the floor in the corner of the room and smiled widely at one of them. She gave him a slightly weird look and turned back to her friends and said something to them. They all suddenly looked over and gave disgusted glares.

Draco got up and staggered over to them, knocking into a few people on the way. "Shit, hello? Hi!" he said, standing over the three girls on wobbly legs that threatened to give way and drop him onto them.

"What do you want?" one of the girls said nastily.

"No listen, I'm sorry if you er, got the wrong idea or anything but I'm gay so I wasn't looking at you in that sort of way!"

"Get lost you fucking dickhead," another girl shouted.

"Yeah, right, god, okay, look I'm sorry," Draco mumbled. "I just need my drink, where is it?" He bent over and peered into the girls laps. "Where is it?" he demanded again.

"Piss off," the first girl snapped. Draco muttered something incoherent to the trio and lurched back to the sofas where his bottle of water stood greeting him. He downed the rest of its contents in one gulp and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, breathing heavily. He was dying for more water. He wanted to wrap his mouth around a hose and have water pumped into his stomach forever. He was sweating like mad, his shirt clung to him desperately and the fringe of his hair was stuck to his forehead.

He got up and walked into the clubbing room to get another bottle of water from the bar. As he brushed past everyone dancing in their own worlds, he was fully aware of the effect it was having on his sex drive. All the hairs on his body were bristling with tension. It felt like a sheet of sexual silk was being rubbed over his naked body teasingly, giving him all the nice feelings that sex gave him at once.

He looked up at the person who had last brushed past him, wanting to thank them for coming into close proximity with him when he suddenly saw a flash of familiarity. The once famous lightning shaped scar and the carefree dark chocolate-coloured tufts of hair were unmistakably Harry. But what was he doing here?

"Hey, Harry," he shouted over the music. "Harry!" But he'd gone. He pushed through the crowd and tried to find him. "Harry?" he shouted loudly. He drew a few stares but not from the person he wanted to find.

He suddenly grew frightened. Where was everybody? Sandra had popped out somewhere and had now disappeared and now Harry was at the club for some reason and was now avoiding him. Shit! Was Voldermort back? He looked around in extreme terror, expecting a blackened figure to descend from nowhere and kill him. Someone clapped a hand on his shoulder and he shrunk away from it in fright. He stumbled backwards and knocked into someone spilling their drinks. Where the fuck was Harry? And Sandra? Why would they just leave him like this? Why were they trying to get away from him? Were they secretly working for Voldermort? Tears of horror formed in his eyes as he felt like it was him against the whole world. He chewed his bubble gum to a pulp as he tried to desperately find his lost companions, the club spinning around faster and faster, the lights growing brighter and the music speeding up faster.

"Harry! Draco desperately moaned to no avail. Nobody cared about him as they danced their troubles away. He was just another face in the crowd and nobody cared as he ran towards the cloak room to get his coat and leave. The last person he could remember seeing was Sandra laughing hysterically having the time of her life with Mike.

* * *

"You look like you've had a good night."

"Yeah it was great man, wicked."

The taxi driver smiled. "I'm long past that myself though." Draco grinned. "Seeing all those lovely ladies in skimpy outfits, drinking beers and dropping pills, you can't beat it really can you mate?" the taxi driver continued.

"Nah, it's the best," Draco agreed, who had never appreciated scantily-clad ladies, had a sip of beer once and almost threw up and hadn't took a pill in his life up until now. He was too enthralled by the redness of the traffic light as the taxi pulled to a stop to care about the words he was speaking. It held so much power, so much command. It was a little machine that could make or break people's days. It decided on how late someone was going to be or how many pedestrians it allowed to cross it's road. It was fascinating.

"Mate?"

"Yeah?"

"We're here."

"What?"

"We're here."

Draco blinked stupidly, taking in his surroundings. This _was _his road but why were they here? How did they get here so fast, they were still at the club a few seconds ago. He remembered Sandra and the water and the girls and everything and they were still at the club but he was here and it didn't make any sense and he was in a car and he was giving money to a guy and the guy drove off and he was putting a key in the front door but they were still at the club and how was it happening at the same time as he inserted a key and went into his house.

He stood in his doorway for a moment breathing heavily as he remembered his night. What the fuck was going on? He forgot all worries however as he heard a metallic sound pierce his eardrums meanly. He could hear every element of the sound, he could even hear it travelling through invisible sound waves resulting in the metallic sound playing once again, before echoing to a far away distance. He suddenly ached for music and went over to the hi-fi that stood in the living room and turned on the CD that was in the player full blast. A girl band spat their lyrics at him.

"_**I'm not afraid of looking ugly. Couldn't care what they say!"**_

"I'm not afraid of happy endings, just afraid my life won't work that way!" Draco screamed back at them, rocking his head wildly and allowing the music to fully penetrate his body. He felt like he was experiencing a melodic orgasm as the beats had their wicked way with him. He danced into the kitchen and saw a drop of water drip from the tap before landing in the sink with a metallic plinking sound. He dove for a glass and turned the tap on full blast. Water went everywhere as it made contact with the edge of the glass but Draco didn't care as he brought it up to his lips and guzzled it down as fast as he could. Excess water dribbled down his chin and he used his hand to wipe it over his face refreshingly. It felt so good. His eyes caught the shape of a bewitching shadow that shone through the kitchen window and he stared at it in open-mouthed awe.

"Draco?"

"Harry!" Draco exclaimed at the figure entering the front door.

Harry went into the living room and switched off the hi-fi. The CD was on song number six, Draco realized. Where had all the other songs gone?

"Hi," Harry said, rather cautiously. "Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah," Draco said, suddenly flushing and inducing himself into a state of panic. Why was Harry acting so innocently after following him around at the club? Did he plan to take him back there? He didn't want to go back. Sandra wasn't his friend anymore, she was with someone else. Everyone betrayed him. Nobody loved him.

"Good," Harry replied with a pleased smile.

"How was work?" Draco asked.

"Boring," Harry replied. "As always." He looked so crestfallen that a wave of sadness overcame Draco and he rushed at Harry and hugged him tightly. A few tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes as he buried his face in Harry's shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I ... Love you too," Harry said, slightly surprised at Draco's affection. "Listen, about earlier -"

"I'm sorry," Draco interjected, completing the sentence that they were both going to say.

Harry nodded. "Me too ..." A sly smile lit up his face. "But we could finish off what we started now."

Draco grinned. All the feelings from earlier came flooding back to him, all the sexual touching against his bare arms had turned him on so much that he wanted nothing more than to fuck Harry senseless, bringing them both to the best orgasm ever. He loved Harry. He loved everything about Harry and he loved life and he loved himself and he loved Harry. He loved Harry so much that he contemplated on telling him about the night. About how great everything was and how he took a pill and everything was complete and how much he loved him and he wanted to live life in this state of perfection forever. But for the second time that night a warning signal flagged off in the back of his mind and a little voice told him that keeping his mouth shut was for the best.

"Let's go," he said and led the way upstairs, accidentally stumbling on a few on his way up. He walked into the bedroom and sat on the double bed. He took Harry's hands into his own and pulled him to a sitting position next to him before pouncing on him in an animalistic style. He pinned him down on the bed, kissing him in every bare spot he could find frantically. He licked, sucked and bit Harry's face and neck before ripping off Harry's shirt and his own and diving onto him again, sucking hard on Harry's nipples, apparently determined to turn them red raw by tomorrow morning.

Harry suddenly turned the tables, pushing Draco off and flipping him onto his back. He straddled his cock through his jeans and dove onto his neck, attacking him with frenzied vampire-like love bites. Draco let out a loud moan before being silenced by Harry's invading tongue which he welcomed with his own earnestly. Harry began to ride Draco's cock through his jeans, causing more loud moans from his boyfriend. He gave him soft pecks on his lips and neck before sliding off of the bed and unbuckling his belt. He managed to wrench the jeans from Draco and moved his mouth seductively to Draco's boxers. Harry was a little surprised to not be greeted by a huge bulge but he slowly slipped his hand under the leg of Draco's boxer shorts and jerked his flaccid cock to attention.

Draco arched his back in pure sexual ecstasy, enjoying the feeling of Harry's expert fingers on his tool. His breathing grew more heavier and he wanted to roar in pure delight of the perfection of the situation.

"You alright Drake?"

"Fine," Draco said.

"It's just that ..." Harry let the sentence trail to an embarrassed silence. The hand job hadn't seemed to do it's job properly and Draco's cock lay limply against his thighs. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," Draco said frantically.

"Okay," said Harry, a slight tone of uncertainness creeping into his voice. He lowered his face to Draco's cock and took it in all his mouth easily. He worked his mouth back and forth, getting ready to ease the base of the cock out of his mouth when it began to grow, but it stayed soft and unwilling, not wanting to be accommodated by Harry's mouth.

"Draco, I -"

Harry was cut off by a loud snore. He jerked his head up and saw Draco ungraciously sleeping with his mouth wide open. Harry stared at him for a while, deciding whether to wake him up or not before he elected to leave him be. An affectionate smile crept onto his face as he watched his boyfriend's chest rise and fall rapidly in time with the definitely unsexy snores he was omitting. He unlaced Draco's shoes and took them off before peeling off his socks. He then worked his jeans off along with his boxer shorts and gently eased his legs under the covers, before covering his sleeping form with them. He stood over him for a while, watching how soundly he slept. His breathing sounded rather desperate, he noticed, but convinced himself that if he were that tired that he fell to sleep during sex then it was best not to wake him.

"Sometimes," Harry muttered as he took out some spare sheets from the cupboard. He turned to Draco, walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "I think I love you more than I believe I do," he concluded softly, before making his way downstairs to sleep on the sofa.

* * *

**And the second chapter is complete! After proofreading it though, I just have to point something out about lots of sentences in the story, this one in particular:**

_He remembered Sandra and the water and the girls and everything and they were still at the club but he was here and it didn't make any sense and he was in a car and he was giving money to a guy and the guy drove off and he was putting a key in the front door but they were still at the club and how was it happening at the same time as he inserted a key and went into his house. _**I know it might not make sense to some people. But I kept it (and others like it) in there because it's the only way I can describe how confusing and distorted everything is in that situation. Some of the story isn't grammatically correct, but that was a deliberate effect. **

**I also noticed when reading it through that Draco might seem a little OOC in the scenes when he's taken drugs. This was definitely intentional as I've personally thought I'd gone through a personality transplant a couple of times I've taken some.**

**Also, it is a common fact that most men are unable to get, or at the very least maintain, an erection when dropping a pill. Touching becomes quite sexual and the whole notion of sex is heightened, but the actual act hardly ever manages to happen. Just so you know why Draco couldn't get it up for Harry! **

**Anyway, thank you for reading the second chapter (and I know its listed as chapter three, but the first chapter was just a subchapter.) Thank you so, so much again to the reviewers (God, I feel like I'm rehearsing an Oscar speech!) and thank you to everyone who reviews this chapter - and please do - I appreciate any kind of feedback, good or bad! Thanks guys, love you all, Jordan x x**

**Song lyrics taken from** _Fear of Dying_**by** _Jack off Jill_


	4. Three

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this. ****

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**Thank you to:** ura-hd, Princesspepper**, and** Aki-Hoshi **for your great reviews and comments! Thank you so, so much guys, I really appreciate them all! Now, on with the story!**

_The last chapter expanded over:_ **June 18th **_and ended with Draco falling to sleep during sex with Harry after his first experience of taking ecstasy._

_This chapter expands over:_

**June 25th**

* * *

A gloriously sunny mid-year afternoon was slowly drawing itself into a lovely calm evening. Soft shadows lazily laid themselves against shades of reds and ambers while the brilliant blue sky dazzled on. The warmish breeze teasingly whipped bare arms and legs before swirling over to its next destination. Further down the road did the gentle gust blow accompanied by a delicate whistling sound that could be heard should one listen closely enough. Further and further it relentlessly pursued, passing by a house with open windows in the middle of the street. Should it have stopped to take a detour through this house, it would have found itself in the awkward company of a young couple. It would have saw the blonde; features so flawless, façade so flawed, sitting on one end of the couch watching his partner through sulky slits of silver as he chewed on his tongue. Should it have stopped to take a detour it would have saw the darker haired man, talking earnestly into the phone while he tried his best to cover his surfacing troubles with dancing eyes of emeralds and hopeless dreams of diamonds. Should it have stopped to take a detour, it would have got itself caught up in the most tensional of moments. 

"Yep. Okay, great! See you on Monday! Bye."

Harry put down the phone with a pleased smile on his tired face. Draco raised a bored eyebrow in query.

"I've got the night off work," he said in explanation. Draco's previously uninterested expression broke into a jubilant one as he started to talk about the nights plans animatedly.

"Oh this is going to be great! I was going to go to Madness tonight but now you've got the night off we can go to Poison instead! It's the best Harry, you'll love it, it's got three floors of different -" He stopped when he saw the awkward look forming on Harry's face. "What's up?" he asked.

"Well ... I ... don't really feel like going out," he said in slightly apologetic tones. "But you can go," he quickly added, seeing the downfall in Draco's face.

"But it's not any fun without you," he mumbled sourly. Harry didn't respond to this as he busied himself by picking at a stray bit of stitching on his shirt. "I don't like going out without you," Draco spoke up again, not letting Harry of the hook.

"Well that doesn't usually stop you any other night," Harry replied quietly, still picking at his shirt.

Draco looked furious. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I just meant -"

"Because you said you were fine with me going out," he interjected heatedly. "Harry you know I don't like -"

"Drake, I _am_ fine with it, " Harry cut in gently. "But I just don't feel like going out tonight. This is the first night off I've had in ... actually it's the first night I've had off since I've started working. Why not stay in tonight instead? We can watch a movie, have dinner ... It'll be nice."

Draco shook his head. "I can't be bothered. I just want to go out."

"You _always _go out."

"_You _always work."

"That's not the same!"

"Yes it is," Draco snapped. "And in fact, you're worse! You're tied down to that fucking job."

"It brings in the money," Harry retorted.

"We have enough," Draco hit back. Harry hesitated. "What?" Draco said defensively, his eyes boring holes into Harry. "We have." Harry didn't look convinced. "_We have_."

Harry opened his mouth but then thought the better of it and shut it again. "Let's watch TV," he said in reconciliation, picking up the remote control and pointing it at the set. Draco snatched the device from Harry's hand and flicked through the channels quickly. "Drake, slow down," Harry protested.

Draco switched the TV off in reply, huffed loudly and then threw the remote control on the floor. "TV is boring," he complained. "Let's go out tonight."

"Draco I've told you I -"

"Oh please Harry, come on, you never come out with me anymore."

"I have to work!"

"You don't _have _to."

"Yes I do," Harry replied forcefully. "Drake, I'm sorry, but I'm too tired and I need a rest."

"And whose fault is that?"

"What?"

"You overwork yourself too much."

"Only because you _don't_ work!" Harry retorted.

"I don't have to!"

"Which is why I do!"

"No you don't!"

"What, so you want us both to be jobless?"

"Works for me."

"Look where that got us last time Drake."

"We were fine," Draco snapped.

"No we weren't! Look, you might be happy living your life the way you live it, but I can't do that. It's just not for me."

"Yeah, I noticed," Draco mumbled in angry defeat.

"Stop being such a prat," Harry said in disgust.

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are, you're acting like a spoilt child because you can't get your own way!"

"No I'm not."

Harry sighed. "Okay fine, you're not."

"I know I'm not!"

"Okay, whatever you say."

There was a pause; the calm before the storm. "Don't patronise me Harry," Draco exploded. "Don't feed me any of your sanctimonious shit because I won't fucking put up with it."

"Oh I'm fed up of this crap," Harry roared, flinging himself from the sofa. He marched out of the room and stormed upstairs. Draco heard the bedroom door slam followed by two echoes that bounced off of the walls before the house fell eerily silent. He didn't like it like this. Left alone with his thoughts always frightened him. They were like the nightmares that he suffered, only ten times worse because he was actively conscious of what he was thinking. At least he was protected by a blanket of sleep and inactivity when faced with his nightmares.

And things were just too quiet. He didn't realise this when sleeping, but when left awake he often had to strain his hearing for the most simplest of sounds. A dull roaring sound like gravel being stepped on by a million people at once lay at the base of his hearing, and sometimes, when it was just too quiet and his thoughts were just too loud, he turned the roaring up, losing himself within the gravel and crunching down on it the hardest of all.

His eyes too had changed. He now left them unfocused most of the time, unable to summon the strength to sharpen the images that lay in front of him, preferring to take the world in as a hazy blur of colours and dots. He couldn't be bothered to do most things anymore, even such things as simple as that. He had simply lost all energy to do anything and if it wasn't for Harry, he would have certainly buckled under the high demands that the aftermath of ecstasy required from him.

But it was only due to the fact that Harry didn't understand what was going on with him that he helped so much. How could he understand? The highest level of perfect euphoria was so high that it simply couldn't be reached without an aid of something. Bodies were just not made to feel that way. In Draco's eyes, bodies were just useless things that people were lumped with, with a few futile emotions thrown in for good measure. They weren't designed to feel that much happiness because people weren't meant to feel that much happiness. People were destined to be forced to grow up before finding out that they wont get any younger too late. It was a cruel twist of fate yet one that had been played out forever. People just kept falling headlong into the wicked trap though, and most passed away without the faintest idea of why they went through years of a shit life for.

So what was a little pill if it made his life better? Although he had moved onto two each time he took them now. But they touched every possible part of the happiness in his body and turned his problems into perfection. And Harry, or anybody else on the outside wouldn't, or couldn't ever understand that. Maybe that's why Harry thought he was being kind when he came up to the bedroom last week bearing a tray of tea and toast for Draco after a heavy night out. It took him two minutes to swallow a single mouthful of toast and when he did it felt like a meal of razor blades and penknives. The tea was unflavoured and wrong and Draco didn't even bother to smile his thanks at the effort that Harry had put in. He just simply didn't have the energy as he sat there, wincing with pain every time his jaw moved slightly. That was one of the bad points about taking ecstasy; the gargoyle syndrome. Even when aided with several packs of gum, he always found his mouth was bitten and chewed, his teeth sensitive to anything and his jaw killing the morning after. Still, it was nothing compared to what he felt for those magical seven hours when he was riding high.

It was a vicious circle: He felt worthless. A pill helped him become happy. He was happy. He came down. He felt worthless. Pills helped him become happy. He was happy. He came down. He felt worthless. More pills helped him become happier. He was happier. He came down worse. He felt more worthless. More and more pills helped his muscles become useless and threatened to kill him courtesy of an overdose. He took them anyway. He'd hit rock bottom, he had nothing to live for and having the choice of dying happy or the choice of dying sad, he knew which one he'd rather pick.

And so the cycle started again. He felt worthless. He knew pills would make him happier. He'd be happier. He'd come down. He'd feel worthless. But more pills would pick him back up. He knew he was addicted. He didn't care. On the contrary it felt nice to be able to rely on something. He'd never weaken his emotions by being emotionally dependent on Harry so these little tablets were a godsend in his eyes. He could feed all of his emotions into the pills as he fed the pills into himself. And then the pills would take the bad emotions and keep them under lock and key for seven hours while he had the most amazing time. But like every high, they eventually wore off and Draco felt dependant on these little button-sized tablets that had taken over his life.

And he liked that feeling. He _loved _that feeling.

_**I'd lost all feeling.**_

_**This was ... This was ... Indescribable. This couldn't be happening, something must be seriously wrong because Harry Potter was standing just mere inches away from me.**_

_**My eyes ran over the familiar features in shock. The unruly tufts of dark hair, the round spectacles that made him look slightly owlish, the enchanting emerald eyes and most importantly, that scar. That world famous scar that everyone in the wizarding world knew about. But there was no wizarding world anymore. It didn't exist. And neither should Harry. But he was standing in front of me, his eyes no longer wide with disbelief; they'd squinted themselves into venomous slits. Everyone around us was a blur that didn't care as the hustle and bustle continued while the last remains of another world stared at each other in a mixture of astonishment, confusion and hatred. **_

_**A million things raced through my mind and I didn't know how to respond to them as I saw him deal with the same feelings that I was going through. What the fuck was going on? I thought I was the only one left and now he'd come along. Did anyone else exist? Did he have his wand? Did he know what happened? Just as I thought I was going to pass out from the million emotions that were overloading my body, a strangled cry came up his throat and he looked like he was going to be sick. Then, without any warning, he charged at me. **_

_**I remember blinking for a couple of seconds stupidly as he ran with his arms outstretched ready to rip me apart with his bare hands. I remember the absolute rage twisting themselves into his features, making him look ugly and evil. I remember thinking that the last time I had saw him this angry was when he had been captured by us death eaters and Voldemort. And then I remembered it all.**_

_**His outstretched fingers grabbed at the fabric of my jumper that had been there a split second before as I was now running for my life, fearful of what he'd do when he caught me. I pushed through crowds of angry shoppers who loudly protested their disapproval. I snatched at a glance behind me. Harry's face was a mixture of fury and determination. A bad combination.**_

_**I let out a small whimper as I carried on running as fast as I could. I really was petrified that he was going to kill me. The expression on his face was enough to convince me that he was perfectly capable. I collided with a man in a business suit but shoved him aside ruthlessly as I turned a corner and ran down a narrow alleyway.**_

_**FUCK. It was a dead end. I looked behind and my heart sank in bitter defeat as I saw Harry nearing the entrance. There was no escape.**_

"_**Harry wait, let me tell you what I know," I pleaded, my arms outstretched in pathetic defence. Harry didn't move a muscle or say a word to my short outburst so I took it as a sign to carry on talking.**_

"_**Everyone's gone Harry," I blurted out. "Everyone and everything is gone. There's no wizarding world, it doesn't exist anymore. I know it's hard to take in but it's true. I don't know how it happened but it just did. The entrance to Diagon Alley doesn't work - there is no Diagon Alley anymore. There's no Hogwarts, there's no Hogsmeade, there's no quidditch, there's no wands, portkeys, spells, potions, no anything. It's all gone, Harry. There's no prophecy, no war, no -"**_

"_**Voldemort," he spat. I stared at him uneasily. He was like a cobra itching to attack at any given moment. "There's no Voldemort," he said in that dangerously low voice, continuing his tirade. "There's nobody left. Except me ..." his eyes narrowed. "And you."**_

_**I gulped. "Y-Yeah," I stammered.**_

_**He walked slowly towards me, forcing me to back into the dead end of the wall. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fucking kill you right now," he said.**_

"_**Please," I whimpered softly. "Don't."**_

"_**WHY?" he barked in my face causing me to recoil sharply. "You were all set to kill me. You fucking captured me and left me in the hands of Voldemort who cast this fucking spell and KILLED EVERYONE I'VE EVER LOVED. You were part of that. YOU! And now you're going to fucking pay for what you did."**_

"_**But I ran away," I begged, a sob catching in my throat. "I didn't go through with it."**_

"_**So you're the fucking good guy because you ran away?" Harry sneered. He shook his head. "You're weak and pathetic, Malfoy. You always have been."**_

"_**And always will be," I sniffed pathetically. He shook his head. **_

"_**You won't be anything after I've finished with you," he snarled.**_

_**I shook my head pleadingly. "Please Harry, we need to get through this together."**_

"_**I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU," he cried in my face. "Why would I want anything to do with the person who was responsible for ..." He broke into a heartbreaking howl. "Killing ... Everyone." He looked at me through eyes of pure hatred as tears streamed down his cheeks. "I'm alone, again."**_

"_**So am I," I whispered.**_

"_**Stop trying to make this about you!" he screamed through his tears. "This is your fucking fault, you deserve it."**_

"_**NOBODY DESERVES THIS," I cried. **_

"_**You do," he muttered, but the lack of enthusiasm in his tone was enough for us to both know that he didn't mean it. He leant against the wall and slid down to a sitting position, hugging his knees tightly as he sobbed out all of his pain. **_

"_**Everyone ... Gone," he said faintly. "EVERYONE HAS FUCKING GONE!" **_

_**I stood there chewing on my lip anxiously. I needed to get him on my side, not only for the sake of not being killed but for the sake of having an ally in this muggle world.**_

"_**Harry, I'm sorry," I said quietly.**_

_**He jerked his head up at me. "On first name terms now are we?" he sneered.**_

"_**I'm just as confused as you are. I'm just as lost as you are, and I need a friend just as -"**_

"_**A friend? A FRIEND? You have the fucking nerve to need me as a friend after what you did? After all those years of abuse and shit you gave me through school, those threats I received from you and your precious death eaters and that fucking plot that caused the whole of our world to die - now you want to be friends with me?"**_

"_**I just thought -"**_

"_**Forget it," he interrupted angrily. "I don't want anything to do with you Malfoy, fuck off." I didn't budge. "FUCK OFF!"**_

"_**Harry, what are you going to do about food?"**_

"_**What?" he snapped.**_

"_**Food. And shelter; you'll need a place to live."**_

"_**So?"**_

"_**So I've got somewhere. Big enough for the both of us to live."**_

"_**You want me to fucking LIVE with you? What the hell is your problem, Malfoy? I don't like you!"**_

"_**You won't be able to survive on your own."**_

"_**I wont be able to survive? Let me tell you something about survival Malfoy. I've been surviving since I was a fucking baby. I've been surviving all through school when I was the chosen one to defeat the so-called greatest wizard that ever lived. I had to survive all those years ... All those DEATHS but I did it. I survived. And even though many had gotten killed, Sirius, Remus, Cedric, Cho, Neville, Hagrid, I still survived. I would have died ten times over to save those lives but I couldn't. I just had to survive because that was my prophecy. And when I awoke after Voldemort's spell, I knew I had survived again. And I thought this was it. No more war, no more prophecies, no more deaths, nothing. And then I fucking realised that everyone had ..."**_

_**He broke down into relentless sobs. I watched his shoulders jerk up and down as he burrowed his face in between his knees, hugging them tighter to himself. **_

"_**I'm sorry," I whispered.**_

"_**So you keep saying," he said in muffled tones. **_

_**And that was the last we spoke of each other for five days. I eventually left him to cry alone after he screamed another torrent of abuse at me. I left with both a happy and sad heart. Happy that I escaped unharmed, hopefully to never run into Harry and his wrath again, yet sad that I indeed might not run into him again. **_

_**Little did I know I was wrong.**_

_**I ran into him every day after that. I ran into him every day because he sat on a bench in the park opposite my house. And every day I would walk through the park and sit on the bench next to him and talk. He didn't respond and so I got up and left. As the days went on I spent less time trying to interact with him as he grew more scruffier, his clothes dirty, his hair tangled and an unattractive beard forming.**_

_**And then on Thursday as I walked through the park, ready to ignore him and go to the corner shop without acknowledging he was there at all, I could feel him staring at me. And although every inch of my mind was telling me not to turn and look at him, I did. And in that instant I was confident that he had forgiven me.**_

"_**Come on," I said, indicating him to follow me. **_

_**He got up off of the bench. "I haven't forgiven you," he said gruffly. So much for my theory. "But I need a place to stay."**_

_**I nodded. "Fine."**_

_**He nodded. "Thanks," he mumbled.**_

_**I shrugged. "Least I can do," I muttered truthfully. We walked in awkward silence until we were reached the end of my road. "I really am sorry, by the way," I said quietly, so he could ignore it if he chose to. I thought he had at first as he didn't reply until we reached the front door. He looked into my eyes and I saw that the shining green that had been submissively beaten into a dullish colour by the lack of food and water had now sparked back.**_

"_**I know," he replied.**_

"I really am sorry, Harry. I really am."

Harry nodded. "Okay."

Draco paused. This was not the response he was expecting. " ... And, well, I'm sorry that I tried to make you go out when you didn't want to," he added.

"Drake, its okay," Harry said.

Draco nodded, displeased that his insincere apology hadn't evoked the response that he had wanted Harry to give: to go out to the club with him. He didn't even know why he was that bothered truthfully. It was probably only because of the fact that Harry had first put the suggestion into his head that he was available to go that he wanted him to go so badly now. He wouldn't have had a bad night if he went alone but Draco wanted Harry to go with him now. And what Draco wanted, Draco got. By any means necessary.

"I'm still going to go," he said softly.

Harry nodded. "Okay, cool."

Draco frowned. "You don't seem too happy with it," he pointed out.

"No, I am," Harry replied truthfully.

Draco smiled. "Okay, as long as your happy babe!" He gave Harry an affectionate hug. "Well, I better start getting ready," he said, pulling away. "Now, what do I need to do?" he pondered out loud.

"Get a shower, you smell!" Harry piped up. He was reduced into a squealing foetal position on the bed as Draco tickled him mercilessly.

"Say you're sorry!" Draco commanded with a grin.

Harry curled himself up tighter into a ball but to no avail as Draco's squirming fingers tickled him in his most sensitive places. "Sorry!" he spluttered between gasps. Draco didn't relent. "Sorry! SORRY!" Harry cried, laughing so hard it was starting to hurt.

Draco leapt from a read-faced, sweaty Harry. "Well, now you're nice and smelly too, we might as well take a shower together!" he said suggestively. Harry gave him a mock-dirty look in response.

"_As I was saying_," Draco casting a meaningful look at Harry. "I need to take a shower, get changed, draw money from the bank, phone Ralph, Get some -"

"Phone Ralph?" Harry queried.

Draco celebrated inwardly. "Yeah ..."

Harry looked slightly confused. "Why?" he asked, unable to hide the small hint of worry in his voice from Draco.

"I'm going to ask him to come out with me," Draco replied. He left a significant pause. "Why, is that a problem?" He gleefully noted Harry's desperate attempt to plaster a smile on his face.

"No, of course not!" Harry smiled. "I just didn't know he went to Poison, that's all. It doesn't sound like his type of place."

"Oh yeah, he goes there all the time," Draco said knowledgably. "In fact, I won't even bother ringing him, he'll definitely be going." He looked at his watch. "Okay, I'm going to start getting ready now. Sure you won't join me in the shower?"

Harry's laugh sounded forced. "No, you're alright," he replied. "I'll have one later."

_Better make it quick,_ Draco thought triumphantly as he walked down the hall to the bathroom_, because I'm leaving in an hour._ He had planted the seed. Now he just had to wait for it to grow

_**

* * *

**_

"You were right Drake, this place is fantastic," Harry shouted into Draco's ear over the music.

"Yeah I know," Draco replied, shifting away slightly from Harry. There were too many bodies and too much sweat and too much attitude for Draco's liking tonight and there was only one solution to make the bodies fewer, the sweat turn to sex and the attitude fade away. The place was too over packed and he needed something to make the night flow freely. But how to coax Harry into it?

"You were right, I think I do need to come out more," Harry shouted into his ear again. "I've forgotten how much fun we used to have."

"Yeah," Draco replied absently. Harry hadn't got the faintest idea what fun actually meant. He too used to think that getting so fucked out of his face that he couldn't stand was fun. He too used to think that seeing who could hold their drink down for the longest while the other vomited relentlessly was fun. And it was, for a while. But something bigger and better had come along and chosen Draco as its victim. Besides, the old fun was ruined anyway. Thanks to -

"Harry!" Harry turned to Draco. "I'll be back in a minute, just going to the toilet." Harry nodded and watched Draco drift away in the sea of dancers and drug users. An wave of anxiousness washed over him for what seemed like the millionth time that night. He was sure that they were going to run into Ralph at any moment, or worse, that Draco was going to run into Ralph alone.

He didn't usually buckle under insecurity or pressures of any kind, but Ralph was just too stunning too ignore. He had a perfectly flawless mirrored face, a body to die for and enough charisma for a crowd of people. He was disreputably known for breaking up couples, purposely or not, and just the thought of Draco being in the same building alone with him made Harry's stomach lurch. Draco wasn't one to stray, he'd never had any doubts about that at all, but his high alcohol consumption lowered his inhibitions dramatically, and even a drunken fumble with Ralph could eventually lead itself into so much more.

Ralph wasn't a nasty person. On the contrary he seemed rather nice the few times Harry had met him. But on learning that he was on friendly terms with Ralph, people were quick to feed him advice. He had been told that he was a man-eater and would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. He had been advised not to let Draco spend a minute alone with him and he had been regretfully informed that 'they had already most likely had sex already' as 'Ralph can't be "just friends" with guys.' Although Harry was aware that these were just rumours, he had disliked Ralph more and more ever since and upon seeing him again the last time they met, he was rather distant towards him - a reason that Draco couldn't understand.

"Hey!" He shouted thankfully as he saw Draco return - alone.

"Hey," Draco replied back dully.

"What's up?" he shouted over the music.

"Nothing. Just couldn't find ..." his voice trailed off and Harry couldn't hear what he said.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Two double vodka and cokes." Harry raised a reprimanding eyebrow. "Fine, one double vodka and coke," Draco relented. "But I'm just going to get another one straight after," he added.

Harry grinned in spite of himself and nodded his head to the music. He loved this song. "What's on the other floors?" he asked Draco.

Draco shrugged. "Just rooms with other music in them. Not that great."

Harry fought the urge to roll his eyes. All week - and even earlier today - Draco couldn't stop giving out praise to this club and now he was acting like it was the most uninteresting place in the world. He didn't know why he was acting so down but he was determined not to let it spoil his night.

"Lets dance," Harry suggested to Draco, paying the barman and grabbing their drinks. He handed one to Draco.

"I can't be bothered," Draco replied, sipping through his straw furiously.

"Lets mingle then," Harry said.

Draco thought for a moment. "Okay."

The pair drifted through the enthusiastic crowd of unaware dancers and Draco wished he was one of them. He couldn't find Mike and he was craving his usual pills. He sipped more drink through his straw but to his dismay only sucked up ice water. He indicated Harry to move towards the bar.

"You drink so fast," Harry commented.

"I'm hot and thirsty," Draco said in reply.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment before his expression changed to a disapproving one. "Look, there's Roger. No doubt come to sell some -"

"Wait here," Draco said frantically, pushing his empty glass into Harry's hand and rushing down the stairs. Harry looked on at his boyfriend confusedly, watching him enthusiastically talk to Roger.

Then it dawned on him. He would have bet his life on it right there and then; that's how sure he was. And he would have murdered Draco right there and then; that's how mad he was.

He slammed both the empty and full glasses down on the bar and marched to the area in which Draco and Roger were conversing in. Just before Harry arrived there, Roger slipped something into Draco's hand.

"Alright Harry?" Roger exclaimed, exaggeratingly waving to him, no doubt serving as a warning to Draco.

"I'm fine," said Harry brusquely.

The atmosphere was so tense it could have been cut with a knife. "Well, I better go," Roger said, slinking away. "Nice seeing you both," and with that, sunk bank into the crowd quickly.

"What's up Harry?"

"What's in your hand Draco?"

There was an uncomfortable pause. "I asked you first," Draco said finally.

"Fine. My tempers up. Now, what's in your hand?"

"My hand?" Draco asked.

"Your hand."

"Nothing," he lied.

"Show me."

"Show you what?"

"What's in your hand."

"There's nothing in my hand."

"Good. Then show me the nothing in your hand."

"Harry, stop being an idiot!"

"I'm not being an idiot Drake, I'm concerned."

"Concerned about what?" Draco said dismissively "A lot of people do them Harry!"

"Do what?"

Draco had put his foot in it. "What?" he asked, having heard full well.

"A lot of people do what?"

"Nothing!"

"Draco!"

"Pills, Harry," Draco snapped. "Ecstasy. And yeah, so do I alright, I've done them for ages." Seeing the horrified expression on Harry's face, he chose the wrong moment to timidly ask "do you want to take one with me?"

"No!" Harry roared, causing a few people around them to stop dancing and look at them strangely. He pulled Draco to the foot of the stairs to the bar. "No, I don't," he hissed, "And neither should you."

"Why not?" Draco said defensively.

"Because they're dangerous!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "No they're not, Harry."

"Yes they are! Do you know how many people die from taking those things?"

"And do you know how many people don't die from taking them? You've got more chance of dying in a car crash!"

"Car crashes are unpreventable," Harry argued. "Nobody wants to be willingly involved in a car crash but people willingly take those things."

"You're so naïve."

"You're so stupid."

"Why? Because I like to have a good time?"

"No, because your pushing yourself closer to death."

"You sound like a boring old man," Draco said frivolously. "Look, just take one and you'll see -"

"I'm not taking one of those things," Harry snapped.

"They're pills Harry, not 'those things,'" said Draco.

"Call them what you want, I'm not taking any."

"Fine, more for me," and with that, in one quick movement, Draco tilted his head back, clapped his hand to his mouth and swallowed both of the small keys to heaven. "Yum!" he added for good measure to further taunt Harry.

Harry shook his head disgustedly. "You're so fucking stupid."

"You're the one missing out."

"Maybe so. But at least I'm not opening myself up to any risks."

"Oh please, you face risks everyday of your life," Draco replied. "You could easily get killed in a hundred different ways tomorrow."

"But you're just adding to the list of getting killed having just taken those things!"

"Well I've taken them now," Draco said airily, "So you're just going to have to watch me have a good time while you have a boring night!"

"Forget it, you're on your own," Harry snapped.

Draco shrugged and smiled knowingly. "Fine. Leave me on my own. Who knows what could happen." And leaving that horrid thought in Harry's head as he sailed off into the crowd, he was confident that Harry would follow.

* * *

Harry fumed as he followed Draco through the crowd. How could he jeopardise his life like this? How could he throw all his chances of life away just to take some drugs? It was wrong and he shouldn't be wasting his life like that. He was so angry he could have willingly punched a hole in the wall. He could have more willingly punched Draco in the face. He was living so dangerously and he didn't even care. He didn't care about him, He didn't care about himself and he didn't care about anyone. He was so fucking selfish. 

"Want to go up to the other rooms?" Draco asked.

"No," said Harry sourly. "I want to go home."

"Okay, go, I'll see you later."

"Well I cant can I?" Harry snapped. "Not now you've taken those stupid things."

Draco shrugged. "Well, if you feel responsible for me ..."

"I don't."

"Well why don't you go then?"

"I want to make sure you don't do anything stupid while you're fucked out of your face," Harry said through gritted teeth.

Draco beamed. "Harry! You do care!"

He was riling him up, Harry knew it, but he tried his hardest not to let it show. Draco was acting like such a selfish fucker and he didn't know whether it was actually him or the pills talking now. His stomach was fluttering so harshly he was sure that if he burst from sheer panic, butterflies would fly out. What if Draco suddenly started acting crazy and flipping out? What if he never recovered from a crazed-up state? What if he had to spend the rest of his life in a mental hospital, not knowing who anyone or what anything was? And what if he started to have an attack? Should he tell someone that he'd taken ecstasy? He knew it was illegal but would Draco go to prison for it? But if he didn't tell, they might not be able to keep him alive. A deadened image of Draco on the floor while confused doctors tried to revive him wouldn't leave Harry's mind and he felt his eyes fill up with hot tears. His face was flushed and he needed some fresh air.

"Draco, come outside for a sec," he said, motioning for Draco to follow him, which he did willingly. They went into the small outside lounge area where Harry gulped in grateful breaths of fresh air.

"How do you feel?" he asked Draco anxiously.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Harry, I'm fine. Don't panic so much."

"I can't help it!" Harry replied shrilly. But maybe Draco did have a point, he thought to himself. He'd never actually known anyone who took ecstasy, and never saw anyone in an ecstasy fuelled state. So maybe what he'd heard were just horror stories. Even so, he was still petrified by the thoughts of a dead Draco plaguing his mind.

"I need the toilet," he said to Draco who raised an amused eyebrow.

"Okay," he said. "Do you need me to hold your hand while you go pee-pee?"

Harry gave him a disapproving glare. "I want you to come with me in case, well, you know ..."

"What? I start flipping out and then die in the middle of the dance floor having swallowed my tongue? _Joke _Harry!" he quickly added, seeing the look of utmost horror on his boyfriends face. "Fine I'll come with you if it makes you feel any better."

Harry led the way to the toilet, feeling somewhat foolish. Draco was the one acting normal here while he was flipping out. He needed to calm down. Turning to Draco, he said, "You know what, you don't need to come with me."

Draco smiled. "Harry, I'm coming with you. If it makes you feel better then I'll come. I don't want you to worry, you might piss all over yourself with panic!"

Harry laughed. "Seriously, I'm fine. I was just freaking out a bit before. I still don't like you taking them. In fact, I really despise you taking them and wish you didn't, but ..." he trailed off.

Draco smiled and leaned forward to magnetise them into a deep kiss. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up electrifyingly. "Thanks," he said softly. "You're the greatest boyfriend anyone could ask for."

"So are you," Harry smiled. Draco looked at him incredulously. "Well, maybe not the best. In fact, maybe you're just average!"

Draco gave him a playful smack on the ass as Harry made his way to the toilet. He smiled happily. Everything was perfect. _Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect_, he chanted in his mind as he grinded down on his teeth hard.

* * *

He was gone. 

Harry let out a small groan of anxiousness. How could Draco have just disappeared like this knowing full well that he was worried about him? True, the queue for the toilet had been long thanks to the cokeheads who desperately needed more lines, but he still could have waited. He looked around in a wild panic as if expecting Draco to appear suddenly in front of him.

He felt the easy tears starting to form in his eyes and he commanded himself to stop crying at once. _He's probably just gone to get another drink or something. He'll probably be back in a couple of minutes_, he told himself. _I'll just stand here and wait for him for a few minutes_, he decided.

* * *

The music took over Draco's entire body and forced him to dance. Every limb he possessed felt alive and kicking and as he danced, grinning a grinding happy smile, he felt like his life couldn't get any better. His throat felt parched but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he continued to dance, the music getting faster, the lights getting brighter and the people getting sexier.

* * *

Harry pushed his way through the angry crowd forcefully. 

"Draco?" He yelled in vain, the music drowning out his voice. It was impossible, this was a huge club and he was never going to be able to find him. It had been twenty minutes now and he still hadn't found Draco. He might have gone home, but he couldn't leave him here alone to go and check. He might do something stupid. However, he could at least phone home and see if Draco would answer.

He forced his way near to the cloakroom where it was quieter and whipped out his mobile phone. As he scrolled through the menu, searching for the house number, a shadow fell over the already darkened screen.

"Hey."

Harry stiffened and looked behind him quickly. "Shit, you scared me!" he exclaimed to the Adonis standing behind him.

Ralph grinned, baring a perfect set of teeth. "Having a good night?"

"Yeah," Harry said, faltering a little too much.

Ralph looked concerned. "Is anything wrong?"

"No I'm ... well ... I've just lost Draco, that's all," Harry admitted.

Ralph raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Dra - I-I mean, Tyler," Harry stumbled. He saw the flicker of interest run through Ralph's eyes.

"Who was the first guy you mentioned? Drago?"

"Y-yeah, Drago," Harry lied. "He's just a friend that me and Tyler know. We've lost him and he doesn't speak English, so we're worried about him."

Ralph smirked. "Just a friend?" he asked. Harry nodded. "And where's Tyler?" he asked amusedly.

"Tyler? Well - he's looking for him too," he explained. "Actually, I must go and find him now, if you'll excuse me." He pushed past Ralph who had a pleased smile on his face.

"If I see him I'll tell him to find you," he called after Harry sweetly.

* * *

" ... Really want ... Up ... Haven't got ... You can ... Look so great!" 

"What?"

... I really want to ... There on ... Got the guts ... Dance though! You'd ... so great!"

"I can't hear you!" Draco yelled. The guy he was talking to giggled hysterically causing Draco to burst into a fit of laughter. "Tell me again!" he instructed. Instead of trying to shout over the music, the guy gestured to the dance podiums emphatically which several people occupied, completely in their own zone, only aware of themselves and the music.

Draco forgot who he was speaking to as he walked over to the foot of the nearest podium in open-mouthed adoration. He took a few steps back as the sweaty hunk who was dancing on it made his way down the ladder. Several people instantly flocked to the base but it was Draco who got there first, elbowing people out of the way and making his way up to heaven, stumbling on a few steps of the ladder as he did so.

He looked down at the dizzying crowd and clutched onto the barrier that lay in front of him. The beat in the song stopped and he looked as the crowd swayed robotically to a non-existent rhythm before the beat kicked back in and they went wild again. He shut his eyes and allowed every element of the song to dominate him fully.

He felt special as the crowd looked at him in open-mouthed adoration. He felt admired. He felt _loved_.

_**It wasn't love.**_

_**It was merely a settlement. Harry would live with me and we would get through this together. I wasn't keen on getting through it, and Harry wasn't too bothered either. We would spend the days apart, drifting through the house like lifeless ghosts, smiling watery, meaningless smiles if we passed each other.**_

_**It was a Monday night when I suggested it. I could hear Harry's bitter sobs through the thin walls of my bedroom and I couldn't stand to hear him like this anymore. I crept softly to his room and knocked on the door.**_

"_**Harry?" He sniffed in reply. I pushed open the door and padded into his room awkwardly. "Are you okay?"**_

_**He nodded before bursting into a fresh bout of tears. "I just ... Want to die," he cried bitterly. **_

_**I chewed on my lip. "I know how you feel, but it's not worth it," I offered. "You have so much to live for."**_

_**He gave me a tear-fuelled sneer. "No I don't." His expression softened a little. "... Thanks."**_

_**I smiled in reply.**_

"_**I just want to escape from it all," he continued. I sat down on the end of his bed as he sat up and wiped his tears away. "My mind just continues to play out all this shit and I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs and get it all out. I wish that I could just erase all the memories I had of everyone so I have nothing to feel unhappy about. I just want to fucking numb my mind."**_

_**I hesitated. I didn't want to draw him into this, but he was in such a state that I felt I had no other option.**_

"_**Do you want a drink?" I asked.**_

_**

* * *

**_

"_**Where's the coke?" Harry slurred.**_

_**I leant over the side of the sofa and saw two hazy empty bottles. "None left," I muttered. Harry swigged straight from the vodka bottle instead, screwing his mouth up slightly at the fire the liquid burnt into his throat.**_

"_**I just want," Harry began, before belching loudly. I giggled stupidly causing Harry to cackle at his handiwork. "To forget," he continued.**_

_**I stared at my hands for a moment. It looked like I had eighteen fingers and four thumbs. "Forget what?" I asked finally.**_

"_**I've forgotten," he mumbled. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. **_

"_**Pass us some," I said, indicating the vodka bottle with an outstretched hand. Harry pulled away from me and took another swig. "You've got your own," he said breathlessly after gulping down three shots worth.**_

"_**Where?" I said, blinking around stupidly. All I could see were the four empty wine bottles.**_

"_**I don't know," Harry murmured groggily. "You were drinking from it just now - I mean earlier," he stumbled.**_

_**I laughed hysterically at his confusion. "Earlier," I corrected him, giving him a playful punch in the arm before sighing and letting myself sink into the sofa. **_

"_**What?" Harry asked at my sigh.**_

_**I clicked my tongue. "I don't know," I said. I let out a deep breath. "I feel like ... I can't explain it. It's the feeling I get when I'm listening to a sad song or something. There's something about the melody. It's like -"**_

"_**There's certain notes that tug your heartstrings," Harry finished off.**_

"_**Yes," I said, truly touched that someone else understood. He nodded, his neck swaying and drooping violently. "I think it's time we went to bed," I suggested, the sensible inner voice inside of me speaking up.**_

_**Harry giggled feebly. "So we're going to bed together?"**_

"_**Yeah!" I shot back enthusiastically.**_

_**Giggling, we managed to roll ourselves off of the comfy sofa, knocking over the dregs of a bottle of vodka in the process, and stumbled upstairs, each laughing hysterically whenever the other fell with a loud thump.**_

_**Harry reached the top of the stairs first and sank back against the wall for support. I stumbled up a few seconds later and stood in front of him, resting my hands either side of him so as not to fall over from the roller coaster ride my head was sending my body on. We stayed there for a moment, giggling at the situation we were standing in. I took in his electrifying green eyes and that hypnotic lightning-shaped scar. I saw the wild tufts of his untamed raven coloured hair and saw him. I saw everything about him and more.**_

"_**Goodnight, then!" I said softly, taking him all in.**_

"_**That's it? No goodnight kiss?" Harry sniggered.**_

"_**You want one?" I joked.**_

"_**Yeah!" he shot back.**_

_**I leaned in fast and kissed him fully on the lips, the hairs on my neck standing up erectly as our soft lips interacted with each other. I drew back softly and stared into those mesmerizing eyes.**_

"_**Harry, I'm -" But I was cut off by the urgent kiss that Harry gave back to me. I submissively let my lips part as Harry dove into my mouth with his tongue in a savage-like manner. I backed into my bedroom pulling Harry into it with me, our bodies locked by our intertwining tongues. I fell back full length onto my bed before Harry dove full length on top of me, attacking me in an animalistic manner. He bit on the fleshiest parts of my neck, causing my hips to thrust upwards into his hardening cock that was restrained by his dirty denim jeans.**_

"_**Harry should we be doing this?" I panted. He slid my jeans down in reply. "Harry you're drunk - we're both drunk."**_

_**He slid his hand up my boxer shorts and started massaging my aching cock. "I wanted to escape," he hiccupped. His hand gripped the sensitive head of my cock which made me draw a sharp breath and my hips jerk violently. "And this is my escape," he whispered into my ear. I felt his hot seductive breath on my neck and his fingers of expertise wrapped around my cock and I wanted him there and then. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rolled him onto his back. Straddling him, I attacked his mouth with my tongue ferociously, holding his arms above his head and kissed, bit and sucked every part of him. **_

_**He screamed in complete ecstasy as he leaned into my tongue desperately, willing me to take more of him in. I leant back and took my boxer shorts off while he undressed quickly. We stared at each other for a moment, fully naked. I don't know what was going through his drunken mind, but my drunken desires were being infiltrated by sensible thoughts. If he didn't go through with it, then neither would I. He had to make the first move.**_

"_**I want you in me," he snarled. I pounced on him at once.**_

_**I was hot and horny.**_

Draco was hot and horny as he felt the fabric of his clothes rubbing against his flesh. Ecstasy was just so fucking great, he wanted to yell out to the world how fantastic he was feeling. He never wanted to come down from this feeling. A sad feeling came into his mind as the thought of normal life returning in a couple of hours but they were quickly destroyed by the dominant pills and replaced with energy to dance.

A trickle of sweat ran down his nose and he flicked his tongue out to catch it. The salty tang added to his horniness and he wanted nothing more than to climax right there and then. More sweat began to form on his body now and he started to unbutton his shirt, desperately needing cool air. He heard a series of hoots and whistles from below and looked down to see the admiring crowd cheering him on. He grinned to himself and seductively began twisting his hips to the pulsating beat.

* * *

Harry let out a small groan of horror as he saw Draco throwing his shirt off to the crowd. His glistening chest was being exploited by the strobe lights that seemed to feature more of his chest by the second. He fought his way through the crowd as best as he could. 

"Take them off babe!" one guy yelled as Draco toyed with his jeans teasingly. He slid them down to his ankles, causing the crowd to cheer.

"Boxers off! Boxers off!" they chanted admiringly. Harry pushed a small redheaded girl out of his way and got to the foot of the podium. Ignoring cries of protest and people trying to pull him back, he managed to climb up a couple of rungs on the ladder.

"Drake!" He yelled angrily.

Draco looked down in a daze and saw him. "Hey Harry," he shouted excitedly. Harry shouted something but Draco couldn't hear. Pulling up his jeans and grabbing his shirt much to the dismay of his admirers, he climbed down the ladder.

"Hi!" he cried breathlessly, embracing Harry into an affectionate hug. Harry remained stony-faced. "What's up?" he asked elatedly.

"We're going home."

"No!" Draco whined. "I don't want -"

"We're going home," Harry snapped forcefully.

Draco thrust out his lower lip dramatically but Harry barely registered it as he gripped his wrist tightly and yanked him towards the entrance of the club.

"Slow down," Draco protested, but Harry didn't comply as he strode importantly up the stairs. He halted to a stop at the doors and asked the bouncers if there were any taxis available. Sighing impatiently, he released Draco and folded his arms, tapping his foot edgily.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked apathetically with his eyes closed in a dream-like trance, dancing on the spot happily. Harry didn't bother to answer as he looked out of the doors for any available taxis.

"Harry I do love you, you know," Draco slurred, walking over to Harry and giving him a tight hug. Harry pushed him off. Draco looked stunned. "Don't you love me?" he asked in shocked tones. Harry dismissed him with a dirty look, bringing a distraught Draco near to tears. He saw a small empty glass containing clear liquid and sidled over to it innocently.

"Don't you dare," Harry said through gritted teeth as Draco picked up the glass. Draco raised it to his lips in reply. "Don't you fucking dare," Harry repeated. "You don't know where the hell that's been."

Draco shrugged, not caring about what this new and mean Harry thought. A car pulled up outside.

"Come on, put the drink down. We're going."

"No, I want to drink this first."

"Draco, come on!"

"No Harry, I'm drinking this now or I'm not going with you," Draco said obstinately.

Harry weakened and Draco downed the contents of the glass triumphantly. "God I am fucked!" he declared loudly. A few people around them laughed at his state and he joined in with them loudly.

"Come _on_," Harry said forcefully, pulling him outside by his wrist. The sudden hit of cool air was heavenly to Draco whose mouth was hung open, taking in as much of it as he could.

"Get in the car," Harry snapped.

"You're being _horrible_," Draco cried shrilly.

"Stop being stupid and just get in."

"No, I don't want to go home with you."

"Draco just get in the car."

"Stop being _mean_."

"Draco just get in the fucking car will you?"

"No!"

"Look mate," the taxi driver snapped to Harry, "are you guys getting in or not? Only I've got hundreds of other people who could use a ride too, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm just, just - Oh Draco just _get in please_!" Harry begged.

"Stop bossing me around," Draco whined. "I don't like you tonight."

"Well could you not like me at home because that's where I'd really like to be right now."

"Home?" Draco said in horror.

"Yes, home."

"Either get in or get out of my fucking car _now_," the taxi driver yelled.

"Alright," snapped Harry. He grabbed Draco and manhandled him into the car. Draco bumped his head roughly on the roof of the car as Harry shoved him in the back seat, but he barely felt it as he protested that he didn't want to leave. Harry got in after him and pulled the door shut.

"Where to?" The taxi driver asked gruffly.

Harry tried to answer but he couldn't hear over Draco who was singing happily at the top of his lungs.

"Draco, shut up!" Harry roared. Draco flinched like he'd just been struck in the face. Harry gave the taxi driver their address and sank bank into the seat. He glanced at Draco who recoiled away from him. "Draco, I'm sorry," Harry said, his icy demeanour softening, "but you're acting like such an idiot." Draco folded his arms in reply and stared out of the window blankly.

* * *

"I need a pill." 

"What?"

"Where can I get a pill from?"

"I don't know what you're -"

"Where the hell can I get a pill from I said!"

"Draco, there's no pills here."

"This is all your fucking fault."

"What!"

"You brought me down too fucking early and now I need a fucking pill before my head explodes."

"Draco, stop it, you sound like an addict."

Draco stormed into the kitchen pulling open a cupboard roughly. The cupboard door swung open so hard it came off of its hinges.

"Draco, calm the fuck down!" Harry roared.

Draco turned to him with flashing eyes. "It was an accident!"

"If you weren't in such a bad mood it wouldn't have happened," Harry retorted.

"Just like it didn't happen to you a couple of months back?"

"What?" Harry asked, and then flushed. "But that wasn't -"

"But nothing," Draco interrupted, "just because you've changed your lifestyle doesn't mean you can patronise me about mine."

"At least I changed my lifestyle!"

"So?"

"I got out of that vicious circle Draco and it's time you did the same."

"Oh so just because you stopped drinking and coming out every night I should do the same?" Draco asked nastily. Without waiting for an answer he added, "You know your problem Harry?"

"I'm here with you?" Harry spat.

"You couldn't handle it," Draco continued, ignoring his snappy remark. "And now you can't handle the fact that I've moved onto drugs and having a better time than you."

"I don't care! I have to work and -"

"Why does it always come down to you and that fucking job?" Draco screamed.

"Are you jealous?" Harry yelled back. "Maybe _you _can't handle the fact that I've got a job and you're stuck in a rut."

"I'm not stuck in a rut, I _like _where I am right now."

"What? Getting pilled up and drunk out of your face?"

"Yeah!"

Harry sneered. "Some life."

"At least I don't fucking work all the time! You're such a boring bastard."

"One of us needs to make money to keep this house running!"

"We have enough!" Draco shouted.

"No we don't!" Harry roared.

There was complete silence in the kitchen. "What do you mean?" Draco asked, in a dangerously low voice.

"You heard me. We don't have enough money."

"Bullshit."

"Check in the bag if you don't believe me."

"So where's it all gone?"

"To the 'every-night-is-Draco's-night' fund," Harry replied sarcastically. "No doubt you've been spending it all on drugs and alcohol."

"You're such a fucking liar, we have enough."

"Then go and check!" Harry barked. "Go on, go and check!"

"You go and check!"

"Fine!" Harry stomped upstairs unnecessarily loudly and stormed into the bedroom. Draco heard him rustling about in the cupboard and then heard a loud thump. He heard Harry dragging the rucksack of money downstairs. Marching into the kitchen, Harry threw the bag at Draco's feet with ease. "Check," he said, half-triumphantly.

Draco only had to peer in the bag to see that Harry was right. The bundle of notes that were once there had lessened considerably and even though they were in no means of becoming short of cash, they had lost a substantial amount of money. He turned to the second cupboard and took out a bottle of vodka.

"So once again you turn to the drink," Harry said disgustedly. "You're just throwing it all away Draco."

"So what?" Draco muttered defensively. "I don't care."

"Well I do!" Harry cried. Draco shrugged in reply and turned his back on Harry. He unscrewed the bottle lid.

"Draco, don't!" Harry warned.

Draco lifted the bottle to his lips, his back still turned from Harry.

"Draco don't you dare!" Harry repeated, striding towards him.

Draco took a sip of the bottle before whirling around to defend his vodka and himself from Harry's goody-two-shoes self. There was a sickening smashing sound and suddenly there was too much blood. Too much blood, too much vodka and too much glass as the bottle connected with Harry's head. Draco dropped the remains of the broken bottle in shock as he stared in horror at an uncontrollably bleeding Harry clutching his wounded head in tears.

Outside a roaring wind prepared itself for a Summer storm. Should it have stopped to take a detour through the open window, it would have found itself in the frantic company of a young couple. It would have first saw the blonde, features so worn, façade so fake standing over his partner; the darker haired man, eyes so green, face so pale, blood so red. Should it have stopped to take a detour, it would have swirled through the kitchen, encircling the dying pair in a whirlwind of shattered glass and shattered dreams.

* * *

**And chapter three is done! The first half was so easy to write but the second part just took so long. After proofreading the entire chapter, the only bit that is misleading to me (so probably to some other people as well) is the ending. I'd just like to point out that neither Harry or Draco has died. I wouldn't have mentioned this except for the fact that some people might stop reading it thinking it's the end when in fact there's four chapters left.**

**Thank you once again to everyone who has reviewed and will review this chapter, I appreciate it so, so much guys, it's really nice to get feedback. And I PROMISE that the next update will be 'A Spiders Web!' Love Jordan x x x**


	5. Four

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this. **

* * *

**Thank you to:** MachiavellianOrange, driven to insanity, ura-hd, Princesspepper**, and** TiKadie** for your great reviews and comments! Thank you so, so much guys, I really appreciate them all! Now, on with the story!**

* * *

_The last chapter expanded over: **June 25th **and ended with Draco accidentally smashing a bottle of vodka into the side of Harry's head after a drugged-fuelled argument._

_This chapter expands over:_

**June 25th and June 26th**

* * *

"Oh god what the fuck have I done?"

"Just calm down."

"God, oh shit, I'm going to get into so much shit for this."

"Draco -"

"I'm so fucking scared I'm -"

"DRACO," Harry roared, angrily blinking away the tears that were over spilling from his eyes while clutching his wounded head in pain. "Calm the fuck down and get me some ice."

Draco nodded frantically. He turned to the cupboard and began rummaging through it.

"Draco, get the fucking ice!"

"I can't find it," Draco wailed pathetically.

"It's not in the cupboard!"

"I can't remember where it is!"

Harry kicked the refrigerator door in angry response. "It's in there," he hissed, his head throbbing like crazy. He applied more pressure to the open wound, crimson seeping through his fingers. His index finger brushed over a small sharp fragment of glass and he shook his head to try and get rid of it. It was no use, small microscopic shards of glass were defiantly embedded into his head and the sticky blood was holding them steadfast through the strands of his hair.

Draco fumbled with the refrigerator door trying to work the handle. His whole body was buzzing and it was making him unable to concentrate. The happy frame of mind that the ecstasy had provided him with had been taken over by something cruel and sinister and now the same drug that had made him so happy just hours ago was making him paranoid that he was going to go to prison for life for what he did to Harry. And how could he have done that to Harry? He didn't _mean _to but what if Harry thought he did? What if Harry told the police that he was a psychopath and that he always smashed bottles over people's heads? He started to cry bitterly at the thought of this.

"Draco, what's the matter?" Harry asked angrily, clutching his head in the utmost pain.

Draco looked at him through watery eyes. "Please don't report me to the police, Harry. I love you!"

"Draco, just get the fucking ice NOW," Harry exploded, prompting a flurry of fresh new tears from Draco.

"Why don't you love me anymore?" he sobbed.

"Draco, I'm fucking bleeding!" Harry cried, trying a pleading approach to the situation. "Please will you just get me some ice, I need some now."

Draco sniffed and looked in the freezer. "I can't find any," he mumbled. He turned to Harry. "Please don't hate me," he said desperately.

"Hand me a bag of vegetables or something quick," Harry commanded sharply and Draco burst into fresh tears at his tone. He handed Harry a bag of peas limply and watched him through teary eyes. Harry glared back at him before squeezing his eyes tightly, sucking in sharp air through his teeth as the sharpness of the icy cold came into contact with the fiery bloodstream. He bit down on his bottom lip hard. The pain coming from his head was torturous. He thought he was going to be sick or pass out and as the whole kitchen swerved sideways, so did he.

"Harry?" Draco queried anxiously.

"Phone me an ambulance quick."

"What?"

"Phone me an ambulance, will you?"

"No, please don't -"

"PHONE ME AN AMBULANCE!"

"NO! Harry I can't, they'll know that I -"

"DRACO I NEED TO GET TO HOSPITAL, LOOK AT ME!"

Draco hesitated. "It'll sort itself out," he offered timidly.

Harry glared at him through eyes of venom. "Phone me an ambulance now," he said in a dangerously calm voice.

"No look, we can fix this ourselves, we could -"

"Do it, Draco."

"But they'll lock me up!" Draco wailed. "They'll arrest me for domestic violence and then when they find out that I've taken drugs they'll give me a longer sentence!"

"ENOUGH," Harry yelled. Draco cowered at his tone. "I'M FUCKING BLEEDING," he continued angrily. "CAN YOU SEE THIS RIVER OF BLOOD POURING FROM MY HEAD OR ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?"

"Stop it!"

"Draco you did this," Harry hissed, "now you sort it out by phoning for an ambulance."

"I can't!"

"But you could smash my head with a bottle?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"I don't care, just phone for the fucking ambulance."

"They'll take me away!"

Harry snarled angrily and pushed past Draco and made his way to the telephone, still holding the icy bag on his head.

"No you can't Harry," Draco yelled in panicked tones. He grabbed Harry's arm violently, causing him to fall, banging his head on the carpet. Harry screamed in agony as pain throbbed up and down his head.

"I'm sorry!" Draco gushed, falling to his knees beside Harry, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Shit Harry, I'm so sorry."

"Draco I need to get to hospital," Harry begged, his own eyes streaming with tears now.

"No you can't!" Draco pleaded.

"Drake, I'm not going to report you, don't be fucking stupid."

"But -"

"Look at me. You can see that I need to get there right away."

"I don't -"

"PLEASE," Harry yelled. Draco flinched at his tone. "Please," he repeated in softer tones. He needed to calm Draco down enough for him to dial for an ambulance. "Drake, I need you to phone an ambulance for me. I'll ... I'll just tell them that someone on the street did it."

Draco nodded frantically, his face flushed, eyes darting all over Harry, taking every inch of him in. "Okay," he agreed, getting up. Harry felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Wait," Draco suddenly spat, falling to his knees again. "They'll be an enquiry if you tell them that."

"There won't -"

"Yes there will, and then they'll find out you lied and then they'll think that I forced you to and -"

"They won't," Harry insisted.

"They will. God I am in so much shit."

"I'll tell them that a bottle fell off a shelf or something and hit me in the head then," Harry said.

"That won't work," Draco said, fresh tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

"It will!"

"But they'll ask where I was!"

"At the club."

"But then they'll find me here."

"You can say you came home."

"No that'll look suspicious," Draco said, looking over his shoulder, expecting the police to burst in at any second and arrest him.

"Okay, you can just hide when they come."

Draco pondered this. "Okay," he agreed finally. He ran to the telephone and brought it over to Harry.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked in confused tones.

Draco looked taken aback. "_I _can't phone," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, dropping it next to him.

Harry sighed angrily and sat up into a sitting position as best as he could whilst Draco paced up and down the living room anxiously. He applied more pressure to the wound and sucked in breath sharply as the pain pulsated inside his head violently. He was in so many states of mind at the moment that he didn't know what the hell was going on inside his mind as the thoughts conflicted off of one another. He hated Draco right now. He'd just smashed a bottle of vodka over his head, and whether it was an accident or not didn't matter - he'd still done it. But he wanted to protect him. This wasn't Draco at all. It was the fucking ecstasy pills that had turned him into this panic-stricken lunatic and he wanted to calm him down and reassure him that everything was going to be okay.

Meanwhile, Draco had moved his pacing to the kitchen, the sounds of glass crunching beneath his shoes comforting to the situation. He couldn't believe what he had done. The situation unwillingly repeated itself in his mind and he silently begged his brain to break down. The horrific cries coming from Harry as the bottle connected with his head echoed inside his mind and it took everything inside of him to hold the scream that was threatening to burst out from his lungs.

_**It took everything inside of me to stop the scream that was bursting out of my lungs.**_

"_**Are you sure you want to do this?" Harry asked, his enquiry on repeat. I didn't dare answer and instead nodded frantically, my face flushed, my teeth gritted. I bit down hard on my lip as Harry's hard cock pushed another inch into my tight hole. It hurt like hell.**_

"_**You okay?" **_

_**I let out a small gasp and shut my eyes. "Yes."**_

"_**Are you sure?"**_

"_**Just do it." My voice sounded high and urgent. I don't know why I was so desperate to let Harry fuck me. Maybe so I could get him to fall in love with me? I don't know what the reason was. All I knew is that every time he inserted his dick a little bit further, I thought my brain would explode from the pain.**_

"_**I'm almost in." The words sounded heavenly.**_

_**Another push and another rush of red hot pain. "I'm in. Now, relax Drake. I need you to relax properly."**_

_**I bit back the temptation to retort that nobody could relax with a fucking dick impaled into their ass and instead did as he commanded. He wasn't a virgin whereas I was and he knew about this stuff more than me. And sure enough, after about fifteen seconds I felt my ass muscles unclench and it felt almost natural for Harry's dick to be up there.**_

_**I let out the huge breath that I had been holding. "I'm okay." I opened my eyes to see Harry grinning down at me.**_

"_**You sure?"**_

_**He wanted to make sure I was alright, at any rate. "Yep," I assured him and almost assuring myself. **_

_**Very slowly, he started thrusting the majority of his cock in and out of my hole. I was grateful for the lubrication that Harry had insisted slathering on his dick and up my ass as I felt it slide in and out almost easily. To say it didn't hurt though would be lying. Although Harry was shutting his eyes in ecstasy, completely getting into the moment, I had taken to shutting my own eyes to block out the pain. As his thrusts got rougher I thought I was going to be sick. A lurch came over my stomach and I wanted to beg him to stop. At the same time, there was on odd sensation stirring in the back of my mind that I enjoyed what he was doing. Maybe I did. Maybe I -**_

_**I let out a loud cry of ecstasy. I don't know what exactly Harry had done, but his dick had touched a part of my ass that made my dick throb excitedly. It felt like I was going to cum straight away and I commanded my body to stop. All the same, I didn't want Harry to stop hitting that particular spot, it felt perfect. It was like -**_

_**I let out another scream. He had hit it again. I opened my eyes to see his sweaty face smiling down at me. I leaned in for a wet kiss, our hot chests coming into contact with each other. Leaning on one hand, he started to wank me off in the way he knew that I liked. I collapsed onto my back again, my legs still thrown over his shoulders. The combination of him fucking me in that hot way and masturbating me with that expert hand proved too much and I came over my stomach.**_

_**I breathed sharp breaths as Harry continued to fuck my ass and it wasn't long before he gave a hard thrust and stayed inside of me, before slowly drawing in and out with miniature thrusts. He stayed in me until his dick lost its erection and then pulled out, detaching the condom from his now soft cock. Throwing it on the counter next to the bed, he flopped next to me and leant in for a kiss.**_

"_**How was that for your first time?" he asked.**_

_**I smirked. "It didn't last very long, did it?"**_

_**He gave me a playful punch. "Hey, seeing the sight of you naked, I was lucky to even keep an erection!" His features softened, his voice lowering in seriousness. "I ... like you Drake. A lot."**_

_**I knew what he couldn't say, because I couldn't say it either. I wished I could. "I like you too," I said softly.**_

"_**Do you think that ... we'll ... ever ... ?" his voice trailed off.**_

"_**I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe."**_

_**He snuggled into my chest. "Well I'm happy liking you right now, all the same."**_

_**I grinned. "Me too."**_

_**We lay there like that for a while, our chests rising and falling simultaneously. "Hey," I said, shifting my chest which Harry's head was resting on. "I hope you're not going to sleep."**_

"_**No," he lied, mumbling sleepily. **_

"_**Good!" With that I threw him off of me cruelly and straddled him, pinning his hands above his head before he had a chance to react.**_

"_**Hey, get off!" he protested in faux annoyance. **_

_**I attacked his neck in response, sucking and biting on his skin. "You're going to be marked mine by tomorrow!" I said, coming up for a breather. **_

"_**That's not a bad thing," Harry smiled.**_

_**I grinned. "Ready for the ride of your life?"**_

"_**What, again? Now!"**_

"_**I've got the staying power," I retorted cockily. "Where are the condoms?"**_

"_**There's none left," Harry smirked.**_

"_**Liar!" **_

"_**No seriously, take a look."**_

_**I rolled off of the bed and opened the box. Sure enough, there were none in there.**_

"_**Goodnight!" Harry smirked winningly, and rolled over onto his side.**_

Harry had rolled over onto his side when Draco walked back into the living room. He was clutching his head like his life depended on it - something that Draco feared did.

"Are you all right?" he asked awkwardly. Harry shook his head slightly in response. His eyes were no longer shut tightly but remained that way naturally. A lurch swept over Draco as he imagined Harry slipping away from him, losing consciousness.

"Harry, did you call for an ambulance?"

No response.

"Harry?" Draco whispered timidly.

His eyes flickered slightly.

"HARRY!" Draco screamed hysterically, the remains of the ecstasy pills flowing through his blood whipping him into a frenzied panic. He sank to his knees and shook Harry's shoulders hard. It prompted a weak groan of protest from him.

"Harry please, wake up!" Tears began to leak from the corners of his eyes as Harry remained still. "Harry, come on!" Draco croaked urgently. "You've -"

A sharp rapping at the door made him freeze. A cold shiver trickled down his spine and Draco sat there paralysed for a couple of seconds as an official-sounding voice shouted through the letterbox.

"Harry Potter? Harry Potter, can you hear me?"

A wave of nausea swept over Draco as the ecstasy dominated his mind, forcing him to live out scenarios in which he was captured by the police and made to spend the rest of his life in prison.

"Harry, are you in there?" Forceful.

Draco looked down at Harry.

"He mentioned a spare key." Mutter.

Draco looked up at the door.

"Where is it?" Query.

Draco looked down at Harry.

"He didn't say - it's around here somewhere." Desperate.

Draco planted a kiss on Harry's forehead as he heard a male voice announce he'd found it. Scuttling up the stairs as lightly as he could, he heard the key being inserted into the lock. He threw himself into the bedroom and hid in the wardrobe, disguising himself by the clothes that hung up there. Every breath he breathed caught in his throat and choked him, strangling him with bitterness and lies. He was a bastard. He was a heartless bastard who didn't deserve Harry. And Harry certainly didn't deserve him, he needed someone better. Someone who would treat him right.

But he needed Harry. He _wanted _Harry. And if Harry was happy staying with him, then they should stay together. It was as simple as that. They fitted together perfectly and it should remain that way forever. And if Harry didn't see it that way, then ... well then he was selfish. Yeah, if he ever left him, then he'd be selfish. He couldn't survive without him and Harry knew that. Once again, the happy thoughts that the ecstasy had provided him with only hours before had now warped his mind with its melodic hypnotic charms.

He couldn't hear anything downstairs but he didn't risk taking a look. And despite his heartbeat racing at a million miles an hour and drug-fuelled blood coursing through his veins furiously, he felt his eyes slowly closing, his mind slowly shutting down...

* * *

The sound was a shrill one.

A lazy eye opened.

The sound continued.

A pair of lazy eyes fluttered open.

The sound was patient.

A confused groan was grunted.

The sound was relentless.

A mind woke up.

The sound was impatient.

A crick in a neck was felt.

The sound was desperate.

A back straightened.

The sound stopped.

A breath was drawn.

The sound began again.

Draco managed to stumble out of the wardrobe, not knowing what he was doing in there, and make it to the telephone that was rudely interrupting the night with its shrilly ringing.

"'Lo?" he muttered lazily.

"Ty? It's Rog."

"'Lo," he repeated monotonously.

"Were you asleep?"

Draco grunted affirmative.

Roger snickered on the other end of the phone. "At 2am? That's not your style!"

"What do you want Roger?" Teeth gritted and voice devoid of emotion, Draco was not in the mood to be woken up abruptly like this. He squeezed his neck, trying to massage the pain away as he listened to Roger's animated voice gabble away.

"See the thing is Ty, I'm beginning to think that you should move onto bigger and better things. I mean, coke and pills are one thing, but you need something more constant, something more ..."

"Addictive?" Draco offered.

"No, no, no," Roger insisted. "No, don't use that word Tyler, in no way do I mean addictive. No, not addictive. No, no, I'm just thinking that you should try out some new things. And well, I have something that's the very best, something that will send your soul into heaven. Seriously Ty, this is the real deal here."

"Roger, I'm tired."

"Sure, sure Ty, I understand. I'll come round tomorrow."

"No Roger, I don't think Harry will -"

Harry.

The bottle. The blood. The betrayal.

It all came flooding back and stabbed Draco in the heart mercilessly.

"Don't think Harry will what?" Roger's voice sounded distant. The phone was on the floor. "Ty? Tyler?" Roger called up to him. But Draco wasn't listening. He was shaking now, wrapping his arms around his waist and squeezing hard - comfortingly or for punishment he wasn't able to work out. The memories of the previous night infiltrated his mind and now that the last dregs of the ecstasy effects had slipped away, he was left with the cold, hard, ugly truth. He didn't remember stumbling into the bathroom, but that's where he found himself a couple of seconds later. He looked into the mirror and for the first time saw himself properly.

His grey eyes that had once bored into people now looked like they had been bored into themselves. They had turned a dullish colour, only slightly highlighted by the ugly dark rings around his eyes. His loss of appetite had made his once handsome slim face turn skeletal and his cheekbones were no longer attractive, but sunken and hollow giving his face a ghostly look to it. His previously flawless skin had been attacked by a series of blemishes, something that he would have never allowed before. When did he stop caring?

He knew when. And he knew what he had to do.

* * *

He had to change.

_**I can change.**_

For Harry's sake he had to change.

_**I'll correct the defect.**_

He wanted his old body back.

_**Look at me the way you did before.**_

And he'd give up everything.

_**I can change.**_

The drinking and the drug using.

_**Diagnose the symptom.**_

Draco chewed his lip. The high spirits, the illicit yet perfect sense of euphoria, could he give up all of that? He wasn't sure.

_**Buy the antidote but not the cure.**_

* * *

****

"Yes, he was brought here last night."

Draco was hoping that the receptionist would say no. He didn't know where Harry had been admitted to and only knew of one hospital in the area that they lived in. He had stayed up frantically last night, trying to work out the best option to take. He argued with himself whether he should go and see him straight away or wait until the next day. If he went straight away, turning up in the middle of the night, hospital staff might get suspicious and call the police. And then they might do a drugs test and find him positive and arrest him. No, it was better to wait until morning. Harry was in safe hands with the doctors and would be fine. All the same, he couldn't help worrying and it didn't let him get a wink of sleep at all.

Around 5am, the telephone rang. The sound was loud in the quiet house and Draco wanted it to stop. He was too afraid to answer it though, should it be a call from the hospital telling him Harry was dead, or that the police were coming round to arrest him, so he waited until it stopped ringing and then disconnected the wire. A couple of hours later, the wait was unbearable and he had to find Harry right away. He kept on the clothes that he was wearing and didn't bother washing or brushing his teeth. He thought that by looking a bit scruffy, it would seem that the first thing on his mind was Harry and that people would think he'd been out all night but came rushing to the hospital as soon as he heard the news. Despite the situation, he allowed a moment to marvel at his clever plan.

He pulled out an old jacket that he hadn't worn for a couple of weeks and put it on. He threw himself down the stairs two at a time and grabbed the keys from the counter in the kitchen where accusing shards of glass stared up at him, glistening dangerously. Jamming his keys into the pocket of his jacket, he was about to leave the house when his fingers closed around some old gum wrappers. Feeling about to see if he had any sticks of gum left, before finally pulling out the wrapper to see for himself, he was met with something better.

He didn't know how he'd managed to forget this little lifesaver. By the way the wrapper was folded up in its origami style, he knew what it contained. And sure enough, when unfolding it with shaking fingers, he found some wonderful fine white powder. Not a lot at all, but at least enough for a little pick-me-up.

He only hesitated for a moment before rushing into the kitchen and scrambling about for something he could snort it with. The previous nights plans of rehabilitation were dashed out of the window as he inhaled the line. He closed his eyes, gladdened of what he had done, before leaving the house and making his way to the hospital.

He didn't mind the journey there but when he had reached the destination, the coke had worn off and he found himself shaking with fear for his life. He was convinced that the police were on the hunt for him and when he mistook an ambulance siren for a police car, he jumped violently and almost vomited. He calmed himself down by toying with the idea that Harry might _not _be in that particular hospital and decided to check it out. Which is where he found himself now.

"Are you a relative of Mr. Potters?" the receptionist quizzed Draco.

Shit. She suspected something.

"Yeah, he's my cousin," Draco managed to blurt out.

Did her eyes narrow in suspicion, or was it his imagination? "He's in ward two, on the fifth floor." She glanced behind her at the clock on the wall. "It's not visiting hours for at least three hours yet, but -" She lowered her voice and Draco leant in close to hear her. " - As Mr. Potter isn't going to be with us for much longer, I suppose I can bend the rules this once."

She gave Draco a kind smile in which he returned with an open-mouthed look of shock. Harry wasn't going to be with them for much longer? Oh god, what the fuck had he done? A wave of nausea came over him and this time, only making it to the bathroom just in time, he _was _sick. He sat on the toilet for a while, breathing heavily, trying to keep the nauseous feeling down. Oh god, how could he ever forgive himself? Harry was going to fucking die and it was all his fault. He was the most horrible, fucked-up twisted person ever and he deserved to die instead of Harry.

He couldn't see Harry. He wasn't up to it, he needed to go home. He exited the toilet fast and ran all the way out of the building, the astonished look of the receptionist a mere blur.

* * *

The phone kept ringing out.

Harry sighed impatiently and slammed it down. Although he wasn't going to be staying in here for much longer, it would have been at least nice for Draco to fucking visit, let alone answer the fucking phone when he called. A wave of anger surged through him as he imagined Draco clubbing it, off his face on drugs.

"I could kill that fucking prick," he muttered to himself, making his way back to his ward.

* * *

Draco was met by Roger on his doorstep.

"You all right Ty?" he asked concernedly. Draco managed to nod, mumbling an incoherent excuse, brushing past him to open the door.

"You sure?" Roger asked doubtfully, "You look a bit edgy."

"I-I'm fine," he stammered. "Want something to drink?"

Roger grinned. "Want something to take?" he retorted.

Heaven.

Draco looked at him through eyes of sheer desperation. Roger smiled victoriously. "You got any coke?" he asked pleadingly.

Roger shook his head. "Nope, I've brought something better like I promised."

He craved coke. "What is it?"

Grin. "A surprise. Give me your arm."

Draco didn't care what it was. He didn't care when Roger began to wrap an elastic band tightly around his arm and he didn't care when Roger pulled out a needle. It could kill him, he supposed, but he didn't give a fuck. Dying seemed pleasant right now.

"This will sort you out nicely," Roger whispered soothingly. "It'll take about seven seconds to kick in and then you'll feel like you've died and gone to heaven."

Draco already felt dead. Dead, dead and too much dead, everyone was dying.

"Ready?"

Draco remained still.

"I'm going to inject the needle in now."

Draco remained still.

"Don't move."

Draco remained still.

"In seven seconds, everything will be fine."

And it was at that point that he remembered something. It wasn't important, not at all, in fact it was rather pointless. He didn't know why the song lyric just popped into his head. It was to do with the situation, he supposed, but all the same it was rather random. The needle pierced his skin.

_**Your**_

1

_**Junkie**_

2

_**Ego**_

3

_**Won't**_

4

_**Save**_

5

_**You**_

6

_**This**_

7

_**Time **_

* * *

****

Yay, another chapter over. Lol, I didn't mean for that to sound like I don't like writing this story, but I'm pleased whenever I get another chapter out. I like the story developing. Anyway, this chapter is shorter than the rest, only because I'm desperate to get this up at some point and the more I keep adding to it, the less likely that's _ever _going to happen, so I thought I'd put it out now before I have time to change to mind!

Anyway, thank you to you guys who reviewed and can I just say a couple of things to:

**Ura-hd**: I just LOVE your take on the story. I love getting your reviews! I can't really answer all of your questions, as I haven't thought about the story that much (I feel guilty saying that) but what I _can _tell you is that Harry works nights, which is why he doesn't go out clubbing much anymore with Draco (who is selfish enough to think that Harry is neglecting him.) The story is called seven because (and I thought about this for a while so I'm glad someone asked!):

There's seven (full-length) chapters. (Not the main reason, but a reason none the less!) The average ecstasy high when taking good pills last around seven hours, and also as you see above it takes seven seconds for some strong heroin to kick in (apparently.) I also like how seven is considered a lucky number and this is anything but lucky.

Also can I say thank you to **PrincessPepper**! I just love your reviews too, you're very psychological, I love it! I wish I could agree and say "oh I'm glad you thought that, I wrote it that way especially" but sadly I didn't. But I agree with you definitely, about how Harry regrets becoming an alcoholic and how he sort of regrets being involved with Draco! That's very good symbolism (claps for you!)

And thank you to everyone else, and everyone who is planning on reviewing. Not the best chapter by my admittance, but still review! Please, for me! By the way, don't you just fucking hate Draco right now? It was a shame, I hated writing him in this way, but I suppose it has to be done! At least I've got it out of my system so I can concentrate on vulnerable!Draco in 'A Spiders Web' which I PROMISE I will update soon!

Love you all, take care! Jordan x

Song lyrics taken from **Jack off Jill **and they are (in order they were used in) **Surgery** and **Nazi halo.**


	6. Five

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this. **

**

* * *

**

**Thank you to:** Aki-Hoshi, clear venom, Princesspepper, DemonRogue**, and** ura-hd**, for your great reviews and comments! Thank you so, so much guys, I really appreciate them all! Now, on with the story!**

_The last chapter expanded over: **June 25th and June 26th **and ended with Roger injecting heroin into Draco, who had gone hysterical at the thought of killing Harry._

_This chapter expands over:_

**June 30th**

* * *

"Can I have a U-100 syringe? Please."

"May I ask what you intend to use it for?"

Draco licked his lips, his eyes darting around nervously. "I'm diabetic," he lied. The woman behind the counter stared at him for a couple of seconds and it took everything inside of Draco to keep him from bolting out of the pharmacy. His addiction kept him to a standstill. She turned from the desk and Draco let out a silent sigh of relief. She believed him. He would get the needle and everything would be alright. Harry was alive. He hadn't killed him and he hadn't done anything wrong. Life was great.

And the heroin made sure of that. Draco had slipped into a state of sickness after Roger had injected him for the first time and he was sure he'd never try it again. But yesterday, Roger had called round, once again promising drugs, but once again failing to bring coke. He persuaded Draco to try it again and Draco reluctantly agreed.

And how fucking glad was he that he did. It was heaven.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. **Seven**.

And he was there. His entire body was suddenly flooded with a warm sense of happiness, and although he felt drowsy, he had felt more alive than ever. His skin crawled as though an army of ants were walking over him, and as he reached a slow-motioned hand over to scratch his arm, a smile appeared on his face at the contentedness he was feeling. Everything was perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect.

"Here you are, sir."

Draco took the syringe with a trembling hand and held out the cash for it. He saw the woman look at him rather sharply and flashed her a weak smile. She reluctantly took the cash and gave him his change. He took it from her and released the coins from his hand into his pocket only for them to spill all over the floor. He looked up nervously.

"Are you alright?"

He gave the slightest of nods and bent down to retrieve his money, his face burning with shame, his body itching to get back to its favourite state. The coins all seemed to melt into each other and the floor was shaking. A painful beat banged itself on the inside of his head and he gritted his teeth, trying to cope with the pain inwardly. He strained his eyes and forced himself to concentrate on one coin before slowly picking it up carefully and putting it into his pocket. He followed this procedure for every coin and by the time that he had completed the task, a spectacle had gathered around him.

"Sir, when was your last dosage?"

Draco looked up, frightened. Did they know? Were there really that many people looking at him or was his vision seeing double?

"Sir?"

The voice echoed and left a trail in his mind.

"I ... I'm okay."

Did he just say that?

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He did say that. He also picked himself up from the floor and slowly stumbled to the shop door. "I'm fine," he reassured everyone in a whisper, but he wasn't sure if they were even listening. Had they ever been listening?

The rain caught him by surprise and he looked up at the sky, blinking stupidly. He hadn't brought a coat. He didn't think he needed one, it hadn't been raining this morning, had it? How long had he been out? Time had broken all its rules and was starting to fuck mercilessly with Draco's mind. He looked at his surroundings. Everything pretty was being ruined by the rain. People were jostling each other to get into shelter and Draco felt like he was invisible. A wave of depression swept over him and captured his soul in a river of dejection. His shoulders slumped miserably and he made his way home, not caring when people pushed past him without apologising. Maybe they had.

He got home quicker than he thought and he looked around in surprise, amazed that he had completed the journey so quickly. He fumbled for his keys and then stared hard at the lock, trying to make it stop moving, unsuccessfully. Gripping the syringe in his hand determinedly brought on a new found determination and he found the key fit in the lock perfectly. Turning it, he went inside, slammed the door behind him and slumped down on the sofa in the living room.

He tried to revive himself with the thought of taking his last stash of heroin, but the fact that it was running out depressed him even more. Since Harry had pointed out the ugly truth about money being tight, Draco had become paranoid about overspending. Harry had been spot on when he had guessed that most of the money had been spent on drink and drugs, but he couldn't stop taking them now. Harry would just have to work more shifts. Or he'd get a job and work a couple of hours a day or something maybe.

As he began to throw himself from the sofa to set his hit up, a figure standing in the doorway caught his eye.

"Harry!" he exclaimed, his heart thumping in his chest. "You scared the shit out of me!"

Harry grinned. "You left your keys in the lock," he said. Draco nodded in realisation, and then there was an awkward silence left lingering in the air.

"Well... I'm all clear now," said Harry.

"Everything's fine?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Yeah, I know."

There was another agonising moment of awkward silence between the pair. Harry shifted from foot to foot.

"So... Is it true? What you said on the phone? That you came to the hospital but you thought ...?"

Draco scowled. "Yes it is," he said defensively. "I _do _care about you, you know."

"I know," Harry said in placating tones.

"Yeah, so what are you asking for then?" Draco said, folding his arms.

Harry sighed. "Draco, I don't want a fight. Not now."

Draco shrugged indifferently and looked away. "Could have fooled me, the way you acted so suspiciously as if I was out partying every night while you were in hospital, but I guess that's what you assume of me nowadays, isn't it?"

Harry opened his mouth ready to respond, but instead shook his head slightly and made his way upstairs. Draco felt self-hatred bubbling up inside his stomach which made him hate Harry for making him feel this way. "Fuck," he whispered to himself, clenching his fists, trying to stop himself from punching the nearest wall.

**Anger and hate can revive a deadened body. Love can be the final nail in the coffin.**

"Draco!" Harry hollered.

"What?" Draco roared from downstairs.

"Why is the bedroom in such a mess?"

"What?"

"Why is the bedroom in such a mess?"

"Can't hear you," Draco replied dismissively.

"WHY IS THE BEDROOM IN SUCH A MESS?"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"WELL COME UPSTAIRS THEN!"

Draco stormed upstairs, imagining each step was Harry's face as he stomped up them noisily, before throwing himself into the bedroom. "What did you say?" he snapped.

"Why is the bedroom in such a mess?" Harry repeated crossly, indicating the state that the room was in.

"Lighten up, it's a bit untidy that's all," Draco muttered. "No need to go into cardiac arrest."

"Yeah but I don't want to have to come home from hospital and clean up after you the second I walk through the door."

Draco shrugged. "Don't then." Harry gave him a sharp look. "You are so fucking moody Harry, just leave it as it is, does it really matter that there's a little bit of mess?"

"You couldn't stop screaming your head off when you saw a rat in the dining room!" Harry retorted.

"I didn't care," Draco lied.

Harry's eyes widened and a small grin crept onto his face. "You liar!"

Draco smiled in spite of being caught out. "I didn't give a damn!" he insisted, snaking closer to Harry and wrapping his arms around his neck. Harry carefully let his head rest on Draco's chest, enjoying the warmth and the familiar scent of his boyfriend.

"I've missed you," he said, voice muffled by Draco's shirt.

"I've missed you too," Draco replied.

Harry looked up enquiringly.

"For _fucks _sake, Harry!" Draco roared, pushing him away. Harry stumbled and fell onto his back. A horribly painful noise was heard as his arm connected with the bedside drawer that was over cluttered with mess. "Why don't you _ever _fucking believe me?" Draco roared uncaringly as Harry clutched onto his hand.

"Drake, I'm bleeding!" He said between sharp breaths.

"What?" Draco blinked as if registering the fall for the first time. He crouched down next to Harry and held him in his arms.

"I fucking cut myself on this," Harry said, holding up a dome-shaped circle with razorblade edges. "What the hell is it, the bottom of a drinks can?"

Draco licked his lips nervously.

**Purchase a can of Coca-Cola or any other beverage of choice. Empty the contents. Cut off the bottom of the can. Notice how it is curved inward like a spoon. This will now be referred to as the spoon. Clean the spoon thoroughly with an alcohol swab. Take out the contents of your purchased drug of choice: heroin. It will have a faint smell of vinegar. This is normal. It usually comes in chunks that are roughly the size of two tic-tac candies. Place a chunk in the spoon. Use your already purchased syringe to suck up 50-75 units of water and squirt it into the spoon. Get out a lighter and light the bottom of the spoon. This will help it dissolve better. Clean your fingers before moving onto the next step...**

"I don't know..." Draco shrugged. "I think I cut it off when I was bored..."

**...Roll a piece of cotton into a little ball. It should be a little bigger than a tic-tac. Drop it into the heroin and notice how it puffs up like a sponge. Push the syringe into the centre of the cotton. Pull the plunger back. Keep pulling until all of the heroin is sucked in. Your chosen area to inject the heroin must be cleaned with an alcohol swab thoroughly.**

Harry stared enquiringly. "Whatever," he finally said dismissively, "I need to get this cleaned up." He stood up and walked to the bathroom. Draco carefully picked up the spoon and chucked it out of the window, before frantically going through the messy bedroom and finding the other thing he wanted. Spotting it, he picked it up and threw that out of the window too before collapsing onto the bed.

**Syringes should never be used twice. This is extremely important.**

Harry walked back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Draco.

"Sorry," Draco said, not meeting Harry's eyes.

Harry sighed. "You've ... you've changed Drake," he said softly, putting his cut hand on Draco's leg. "The drugs have changed you."

"They haven't," Draco said, moving his leg from Harry's touch.

"They have, you've gotten ..." his voice trailed to a standstill.

"What?" Draco asked sharply.

Harry remained silent.

"What?" he repeated, "what sort of monster have I become, Harry?"

"I didn't mean -"

"COME ON, SPIT IT OUT!"

"THE SORT THAT LIKES TO BEAT UP THEIR BOYFRIEND," Harry retaliated shrilly. A eerie silence fell over the room. Draco swallowed.

"I said I was sorry about that," he said in a dangerously calm voice.

Harry looked away, fear stirring in the pit of his stomach. He was afraid of Draco when he wasn't ranting and raving. He heard a sniff and looked over at Draco quickly.

"Drake..." he said desperately as he saw him collapse into sobs. "Drake, come on, I didn't mean it."

Draco's shoulders shook up and down as he let himself fall into Harry's arms. "I'm sorry," he cried between sobs. "I'm really sorry."

"I know," Harry replied soothingly, rubbing his back. "But we'll get you through this Draco, I promise."

Draco stopped in mid-sob. "What?" he sniffed.

"We'll get you out of this downward spiral," Harry continued. "Drake, it's not doing you any favours, you need to stop this addiction."

Draco stiffened and pulled away from Harry's arms. "I..."

"What?"

"I... well, I don't know if ... I don't know if I want to stop." Draco didn't meet Harry's eyes, but shut them together when he heard Harry let out a small gasp.

"But why?" Harry asked in shocked tones.

Draco shrugged and looked out of the window. Everything was grey. "Don't know."

"But they're bad," Harry bleated.

"Oh for fucks sake, just leave me alone," Draco roared, throwing himself off the bed and stomping down the hallway. He turned into the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror, breathing heavily and angrily. His eyes shifted towards the sink where crimson smudges still tainted the sink from Harry's hand. He looked back up and saw Harry standing in the doorway. He saw that he looked slightly worried.

"What?" Draco snapped angrily. He turned around to face him. "I'm not going to fucking take anything, don't worry."

"I _do _worry."

"Well don't."

"But I do!"

"Well _don't_," Draco replied forcefully.

"Do you know how many people die from ecstasy and cocaine every night?" Harry argued.

Draco shrugged. "Don't care," he said offhandedly. And he didn't. He didn't need those small time drugs anymore. He had all he needed and all it took was one injection.

Harry sighed and shook his head. "I wish you did," he said in a small voice. Draco couldn't stand feeling guilty and barged past him, purposely knocking his shoulder.

"Too bad," he snapped over his shoulder.

"IT'S TOO BAD FOR YOU!" Harry shouted after him. "Because you're the one who's going to die."

"We all die," Draco retaliated, stopping at the end of the hallway.

"Yeah, but you'll die the worst kind of death," Harry retorted. "The kind where your soul dies first. The kind where your spirit is killed off but your body remains to live a purposeless life."

A cold shiver ran down Draco's spine before his whole body was racked with heat. He needed to get out of the house fast. He needed to fucking shoot up before his mind was going to explode. There was too much truth and too much honesty and too much emotion and real feelings coming out and he couldn't let Harry see any of them and he didn't want to see any of them himself either and he just needed to escape, escape, escape and run away, he was running, down the stairs and into the living room scooping down to retrieve his purchased syringe and then it was sunlight as he ran down the street so fast everything was a blur before stopping to take a breath at Roger's house.

He blinked and looked around. Roger's house. How did he get there so fast? He looked over his shoulder for any signs of Harry, but there were none. He cast his mind back to the scene that just happened. How much time had passed before they'd argued? Roger's house was about twenty minutes from theirs, did he really run all that way without stopping? Did Harry chase him? Did he -

"Tyler!"

Draco looked around to see Roger leering at him from the upstairs window. "How d-did you know I was coming?" he stammered.

"You rang the bell..." Roger said slowly. Draco's gaze followed his shoulder, down to his elbow and ended up at his quivering finger that was inches away from Roger's doorbell. He looked up again to find Roger had gone.

"You coming in then Ty, or are you going to stand out there all day?"

"I'm coming ..." Draco started, but found he was already in the hallway taking off his coat. His mind was seriously fucking up. He needed to sort it out. He needed heroin.

"Rog, I need some skag," Draco said, following Roger upstairs. He heard Roger snicker.

"You look like you do mate."

"Yeah, so can I get some?" Draco asked desperately, needing to get away from the current state that he was in.

Roger sighed as they walked into his bedroom. "Well... I'm afraid it's going to cost you," he replied, sinking back into an armchair.

Draco stood by the doorway. "Yeah, I know," he said. "I've brought money."

Roger smiled sinisterly baring a set of stained teeth. "I don't want money," he said throatily. "I want something more precious."

Draco's eyes darted around nervously. "Okay," he said slowly.

Roger grinned. "Come over here, Ty." Draco reluctantly shuffled over. "You know I like 'em young, don't you?"

Draco nodded slightly. "Y-yeah," he stammered.

"_Really _young," Roger added.

Draco nodded but didn't say anything this time.

"Some might call it ... Illegal."

Draco swallowed.

"The thing is Ty, parents have been getting really careful these days. Don't like the idea of people like me hounding their little precious kids." He smirked at this and Draco almost threw up. "So needless to say, I haven't been getting any for a while. But you... I think that you'll do just nicely."

"You want me to ..." Draco's voice wobbled.

"Oh no, no, no," Roger protested, holding his hands up innocently. "No, I don't _want _you to do anything. But..." he licked his lips in anticipation. "If you want something off me ... Then I think it's only fair that I get something back."

Draco's head spun. "But I can't," he said weakly. "Harry -"

"Need never know," Roger interjected quickly before shrugging dismissively. "But if you don't want to do it, that's fine. But I'm afraid that I can't give you what you want if you don't give me what I want..."

Draco shook his head. "Please," he begged. "Please, I can't do that."

Roger's eyes narrowed. "How badly do you need to feed your addiction?"

A tear fell from Draco's eye and his whole body felt like a deadweight. "Please..."

"How badly?" Roger insisted.

Fresh tears were squeezed from the corners of his eyes and he wiped them away with a grubby hand. "I just need one more hit. That's it."

Roger smiled freshly. "One hit for one fuck. Perfect."

Draco shook his head again.

"Look," Roger snapped sharply, beginning to lose patience at not being able to break him easier. "I don't have time to play these fucking games with you, Tyler. If you don't give me what I want right now then I won't give you what you need."

Draco flinched before nodding slowly. "Okay," he said submissively.

Roger smirked and snapped his fingers. "Get over here." Draco shuffled forwards as Roger stood up. "On your knees," he said sweetly. Draco hesitated before sinking onto his knees. He looked up in defeat at the towering man before him, undoing his fly and whipping out his cock.

"Please," Draco pleaded a final time.

Roger chuckled. "You don't have to beg for it, Ty. It's all yours." His lip curled. "Suck it."

A fresh flurry of tears ran down Draco's cheeks as he slowly brought his lips to Roger's cock. It had an odorous scent coming from underneath his foreskin and Draco almost gagged at what he suspected lay there. He felt a hand snaking through his hair, grabbing a fistful of it tightly and pulling him closer to Roger's cock.

"Suck it." The command came more forceful.

Draco shut his eyes and blocked out everything.

* * *

Roger smirked. "Wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked pulling out a rubber band.

**All veins in your body have valves. You can find valves by running your finger slowly across a vein. The valve is located where the blood stops. Always inject either under above it or below it. NEVER into it. Use a big rubber band and tie it near the veins you have decided to inject into. When using veins in your upper forearm tie off just above your elbow. When shooting in veins lower down on your arm move the torniquet below your elbow. And even lower when shooting into veins just above your wrist. When injecting into veins in your hand place the torniquet just above your wrist. DO NOT TIE A KNOT in the rubber band. Instead just tuck the rubber underneath itself in a comfortably snug position so it can be easily released after the needle is in the vein but before you press the plunger down.**

Draco didn't reply. Roger sniggered and began to smack Draco's forearm hard. Draco closed his eyes and waited for the needle to pierce his skin.

"Ready?"

Draco nodded.

The needle interacted with his skin and he drew a sharp breath. His surroundings began to blur and he was vaguely aware of the needle being withdrawn. He fell back onto the floor as his eyes slowly drifted shut and he faded into obscurity.

Seven  
Six  
Five  
Four  
Three  
Two  
One  
**Gone.**

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**These chapters are getting shorter and shorter each time I update! Partly because I have too much work to do and can't expand on them like I used to able to do, but also because I want to finish both this and 'A Spiders Web' before book six comes out. The next chapters are the last chapters (I will post them together as one is just a sub-chapter) but have no idea when it will be completed! Sorry!**


	7. Six

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this.**

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Thank you to:**clear venom, Princesspepper, DemonRogue**, and **ura-hd**, for your great reviews and comments! Thank you so, so much guys, I really appreciate them all! Now, on with the story!**

**The last chapter expanded over: June 30th **_**and ended with Draco prostituting his body to Roger in order to feed his addiction to heroin. ** _

**This chapter expands over:**

**July 5th**

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**

There was a jangling of keys.

Harry quickly looked up at the front door and prayed that it was Draco. He'd been praying for the past five days and was literately worried sick. He had sat on the sofa for those five days solidly, only moving to get something to eat or to go to the toilet.

He hadn't called the police. No, there seemed to be no need. He knew Draco was alive from the obscure phone calls that he received from him at odd hours of the night. Slurred words and long pauses made Harry suspect that Draco was overdosing on a cocktail of drugs and there was nothing he could do about it. He unsuccessfully pleaded with Draco to let him know where he was so he could bring him back home, but seconds later the phone call was usually cut abruptly.

And so it was with the jangling of the keys that Harry looked up at the front door desperately. He chewed on his lip and continued to stare and just when he thought he could bear it no longer and was about to run to the door and open it for himself, it opened slowly.

"Draco!" Harry exclaimed, jumping off the sofa and running over to him. "Where the hell have you been?"

But Draco didn't listen. Harry wasn't even sure if he had heard him or not. He walked into the house slowly and lifelessly and stared around, swaying from one foot to the other.

"Draco?" Harry asked worriedly. "Are you alright?"

Draco turned to him slowly. His eyes were glassy, expressionless and bruised. Dark circles around his eyes were only accentuated more thanks to the sunken look he had in his face. He'd lost at least a stone and his tall frame emphasised the skeletal look even more.

"I'm fine," he said softly and turned to look out the window. "It's sunny."

"Draco, what have you taken?"

Silence. Swaying from foot to foot.

"Draco?"

He turned around again and gave him a small smile. "Hi Harry."

"Draco, what have you taken?"

He shook his head. "Not much." The smile faded from his face. "Not nearly enough, in fact. I can feel it…"

"Feel what?"

Silence.

"Draco, feel what?"

"The downfall."

"What? The downfall? Draco stop it you're starting to scare me, what downfall?"

Draco looked mildly aggravated. "The downfall. The come down. I need to be up. Up and up and up."

"You need to stop using drugs."

Draco delivered Harry a dirty look. "You're bringing me down faster, go away."

"Draco, I've been worried sick for the past five days, how can you just expect me to go away?" Harry cried.

Draco screwed up his face in anger and drifted towards the stairs to revive his euphoria with the help of a little needle. Harry was hot on his heels. "Fuck off," Draco roared, attempting to push Harry away. The heroin -

**(It will fuck you up, It will feel no guilt)**

had sucked all of his strength and energy away.

"Draco, you better fucking tell me what's been going on right now," Harry shouted impatiently. "No, stay _here_," he added, as Draco tried to wriggle free from Harry's grasp.

"Get off me," Draco cried, struggling against the firm hold Harry had on him. His strength was beginning to come back as his bad mood grew and his drug-fuelled high fell into decline.

"Draco, stop it," Harry yelled, his arms still wrapped around Draco's waist. Draco twisted out of Harry's grip, who managed to grab hold of his sleeve before he ran up the stairs. Draco turned around and lashed out at Harry, delivering a loud slap across his face. Harry let go instantly and stepped back, clutching his reddening cheek.

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry. Shit, fuck, I'm _sorry_." Draco walked over to him and felt his own cheeks redden with shame as Harry flinched. "Harry, I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry, I'm really so fucking sorry." He took another step towards Harry and wrapped him up in a hug, tears leaking out of his eyes as he felt Harry's body shaking like a leaf.

Shit, everything was fucking shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. What was the point in living if everything was just going to be shit? Why come down when you can live up? Why stay sober when you can take drugs? Why was it that everything so fucking great was illegal? Why did he hit Harry? Why is he such a bad person? Why is everything in his life so fucking shit? He was nothing. He was worthless. He was shit and his life was shit and he deserved to die.

"Draco, you've got to stop this." Harry's voice sounded muffled against his chest and Draco had half forgotten that he was there. As he came back to reality, he realised that he was gripping onto Harry tightly, not wanting to let him go. His body was still shaking. The shaking made Draco's own body shake and as he trembled, the awfulness of the situation that had just took place flew into his mind and taunted him ruthlessly.

"Please Draco, before it's too late." His voice sounded so pleading. So _bleating_. So whiny, always so fucking whiny and wholesome and irritating. He'd gotten out of the mess. He thought he'd won by beating the lifestyle, but he'd won shit. He didn't know how good it felt to shoot up and shoot for the stars. He didn't know how high you could get, he didn't know anything. And as these thoughts consumed Draco's mind, the last dregs of the heroin decided to play a little game with him and twist his feelings around.

"Just get the fuck away from me," Draco roared, pushing Harry away. The fright in his eyes infuriated Draco even more and he grabbed the nearest thing he could find - a vase - and threw it against the wall in anger.

"STOP IT!" Harry yelled. "YOU NEED TO SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Draco stormed over to Harry who shrank back into a corner submissively. Draco produced a syringe and heroin sealed in an air-tight bag from his shirt pocket and held them close to Harry's face.

"_This _is what helps me snap out of it," Draco spat. "_This _is everything I fucking need and I don't need anything else. Not even you."

Harry collapsed into sobs. "Why the fuck are you doing this?"

"Stop fucking _crying_," Draco roared, pushing Harry hard in the chest, causing the back of his head to bang against the wall. "Always fucking crying, just shut the fuck up and get out of my face." Draco pushed past Harry and ran up the stairs.

"Fine, fucking kill yourself with that shit," Harry screamed after him tearfully.

Draco stopped in mid-step and turned around. "You'd be sorry if I did," he spat.

"_**You'd be sorry If I did," I said, suppressing a hiccup.**_

_**Harry sighed. "I'm not saying it to be mean Drake, but… well, I just think you need to cut back."**_

_**I took another swig from the bottle of wine I was clutching. "When did you become so sober and holier-than-thou?" I asked sarcastically.**_

_**Harry sighed again, impatiently this time. "I'm not trying to act superior or anything but it's for your own good. Seriously Draco, you need to cut back. Drinking this much isn't healthy."**_

"_**You've only stayed sober for a week," I retorted. "Give it a couple more days and you'll be lying on the floor with me, pissed out of your face and you'll enjoy it."**_

_**Harry shook his head. "No, I want to change my lifestyle around. And you should too. You're becoming too dependent on alcohol."**_

_**I tried my best to stop the room from swaying and narrowed my eyes at him. "Are you calling me an alcoholic?" I asked, deliberately slowly.**_

"_**Yes," Harry hit back straight away. "Yes, I am. Because I think you are. I've managed to get out of that lifestyle Drake and I think you should too."**_

"_**It's been a fucking week," I spat angrily, "and now you think you're better than me?"**_

"_**I'm not saying that," Harry roared back. "I'm just saying you need to be careful with the amount that you drink."**_

_**I took a defiant gulp and felt the liquid burn my throat. Harry shook his head in disgust.**_

"_**Don't fucking patronise me Harry," I growled menacingly. **_

"_**Carry on drinking that amount and you'll be dead in a matter of years," Harry replied. "If you haven't moved on to anything harder by then."**_

"_**What do you mean by that?" I snapped.**_

"_**Drugs."**_

"_**I don't do drugs."**_

"_**Yet."**_

"_**So you're saying that everyone who drinks has to turn into a drug addict?"**_

"_**No."**_

"_**So what are you trying to say then?"**_

"_**I - just - I'm -" Harry sighed sadly. "I'm just worried Drake."**_

_**I sighed too. "I know. But I'm honestly fine."**_

"_**Are you?" Harry asked anxiously.**_

"_**Yes," I replied reassuringly. "Oh, come here!" I added, seeing the worried look on his face. I pulled him into a hug and he nuzzled his head into my chest. "I love you for being so caring," I said, leaning forward and kissing his hair, "but I'm okay. Really."**_

"_**I just don't want to see you get hurt," Harry said softly.**_

_**I smiled. "I'm going to be okay."**_

_**There was a nice silence for a while before Harry broke it with an, "I love you."**_

_**That was even nicer. "Love you too," I replied.**_

"_**And you promise me you'll be fine?"**_

"_**Promise."**_

Empty promises and broken dreams. Harry relived them all in his mind as he ran up the stairs after Draco. He was not going to let him waste away like this, he had to save him. This wasn't a case of Gryffindor courage, this was a case of humanity. He had to save Draco before he went too far. He threw himself down the corridor and ran to the bedroom, kicking open the door. Draco was sitting on the bed, a rubber band wrapped tightly around his arm, running to his mouth where he gripped it tightly with his teeth.

"NO! Harry cried.

"_**No!"**_

_**Harry grinned. "Yep."**_

_**I crushed him with a bear hug. "Congratulations!"**_

"_**Thanks!"**_

_**I released him from my grip and looked into his eyes. "You didn't have to get a job though, you know that right? We have enough money to last us for a while."**_

_**Harry hesitated.**_

"_**What?"**_

_**He composed himself. "Nothing. But you know what I said, I have nothing to do around here now I'm not…" His voice trailed off.**_

"_**Drinking. You can say it."**_

_**He looked slightly embarrassed and he focused on the carpet. **_

"_**Well this calls for a celebration!" I exclaimed, "Lets go out and party!"**_

"_**I was thinking more of dinner?" Harry suggested. **_

_**I tried not to let my face fall. "Yeah sure! Okay, that's great!"**_

_**

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**_

"_**This is a nice place," I commented, looking around the restaurant. My fingers drummed on the table impatiently and I stole another look at Harry's glass. He'd only taken a sip of wine and we'd been here for ten minutes already. I, on the other hand, had reached the bottom of my glass and I was dying to pour myself another one. But every time I plucked up the courage to move my hand towards the bottle, Harry seemed to look up and start a conversation with me. It was getting on my nerves, I needed a fucking drink. I felt stupid having another glass though, not without Harry. After all, he was the reason we were celebrating.**_

"_**Not thirsty?" I asked.**_

_**He looked up from reading the menu. "What?"**_

_**I gestured towards his glass. "You haven't touched your drink hardly."**_

_**He looked at the glass and then back at me. "I… didn't notice," he said nonchalantly. Hs eyes wandered to my empty glass. "You can have some more if you want."**_

"_**No, no, I'll wait," I replied quickly. He gave me a smile and started to read the menu again. I looked down at my own. I didn't know what I wanted. Everything just looked boring and I found my eyes drifting over the drinks part of the menu. I forced them back over to the starter choice. Soup of the day… Breaded mushrooms… Tribagino Lurgini white wine…**_

_**Fuck. I brought the menu closer to my face so my eyes could only concentrate on the starter section. The words seemed to mesh together and I couldn't read any of them any more. I needed a drink before my mind was going to explode.**_

"_**Draco?"**_

_**I lowered my menu.**_

"_**Do you know what you want for your starter?" Harry had seemingly already ordered and now the waiter was looking at me.**_

"_**Soup of the day," I said quickly. I thrust my menu at the waiter and reached for the bottle of wine and started to pour myself a drink. Harry raised a questionable eyebrow.**_

"_**What?" I asked defensively as the waiter went away.**_

"_**You didn't even ask what the soup of the day is," Harry replied with a slightly amused smile on his face.**_

_**I brought the glass to my lips. As the liquid went down my throat, everything was okay again. "I don't care because I'm so hungry," I replied, hoping that it was something normal.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**I stared at Harry's glass disbelievingly. We were on our main course and he still had a couple of sips of wine left before he would have to move onto his second glass. How could he stand it? I reached for the bottle to pour myself another glass and found it was empty.**_

"_**Should we order again?"**_

_**Harry looked up from his food. "What?"**_

"_**Should we order another bottle? This one's empty."**_

"_**I'm okay," Harry replied.**_

_**I let out a sigh. It was only me that could hear the taint of jealousy within it. "It's been a month now."**_

"_**A month since what?"**_

"_**That you haven't been drinking."**_

"_**I have been drinking. I am drinking."**_

"_**Properly."**_

"_**You mean solidly?"**_

"_**Okay, solidly. It's been a month since you've stopped drinking solidly and abandoned me and your out of control lifestyle."**_

_**Harry sighed. "Draco…"**_

"_**What?" I snapped.**_

_**Harry opened his mouth and shut it again.**_

"_**What?" I demanded. "What? What views have you got about me, huh? Your alcoholic boyfriend?"**_

"_**Can we speak about this another time?" Harry hissed.**_

"_**No, I want to talk about it now."**_

"_**Well I don't."**_

_**I folded my arms and sulked.**_

Harry ran over to Draco and wrenched the heroin-filled syringe from his grip only a split second before Draco was going to inject it into himself. He ran downstairs and into the kitchen, ignoring the anguished shrieks from Draco. Hearing footsteps bounding down the stairs after him, he looked around desperately and quickly threw the syringe in the bin. It wasn't the best hiding place but it would have to do for now. As Draco made his way into the kitchen, Harry turned around quickly. Draco's facial expression chilled his heart to the bone.

"_**Why are we arguing so much lately?"**_

_**I kept my attention on the television set, not wanting to answer Harry's question. Because I knew what the reason was. My jealousy. I was jealous of Harry. He'd managed to break away from the downward spiral I could feel myself slipping into. I was becoming dependent on alcohol. **_

_**But at the same time, I didn't want to quit. I kept telling myself I'd do it when I was ready, that I was young and that I could only drink this heavily at the age I was now. I convinced myself that in a couple of years time, I'd settle down and back away from what I'd become. And I believed I could do it. I liked drinking. It felt good. It made me feel confident and it made me feel powerful. I could take on the world with it. Without it, I was nothing.**_

_**And now Harry had broken free from the destruction and I was consumed with resentment. I didn't want to carry on like this on my own, I wanted someone to feel as secure as I did. He wasn't as much fun now he didn't drink and I felt lonely. This new night job of his meant that he didn't even go out much anymore, so I was forced to brave the club scene alone. So many nights I tried to stay at home and relax, but I just couldn't. Not now I was used to it. **_

_**Harry leaned over and grabbed the remote control.**_

"_**Hey!" I protested, as he turned the television off. He sighed and turned to me.**_

"_**Why Draco?"**_

_**I shrugged. "I hadn't really noticed."**_

"_**You haven't noticed that we've been arguing a lot more lately?"**_

"_**Nope," I lied.**_

_**He looked at me for a while, trying to work out if I was lying or not. "You seriously haven't noticed?" he asked doubtfully.**_

"_**I seriously haven't noticed," I replied.**_

_**He chucked the remote control into my lap and got up from the sofa.**_

"_**Where are you going?" I asked.**_

"_**Work," came the short reply.**_

"_**Oh right. I forgot," I said bitchily. A little too bitchily.**_

_**Harry stopped in his tracks. "Is that what this is all about?" he asked. I didn't answer. "Yeah, it all makes sense now," he said. "You're jealous."**_

"_**Jealous?" I scoffed. "No way."**_

"_**Yeah, you're jealous!"**_

"_**Jealous of what exactly?"**_

"_**Me working."**_

_**I sneered. "Yes, because I am dying to get a job, Harry."**_

_**He didn't buy the sneer. "Why are you jealous?"**_

"_**I'm not," I insisted shrilly.**_

"_**Your tone of voice says different," Harry replied calmly.**_

_**I got up from the sofa and walked around to face him. "Why do you think you're so much better than me now?"**_

"_**I don't."**_

"_**You think you're so much fucking better than me now you have a job. Well let me tell you something Harry; You're not."**_

"_**I didn't say I was!"**_

"_**But you believe it."**_

_**Harry opened his mouth to reply and then shut it again to ponder. "You're right," he said finally. "I do."**_

_**My mouth dropped open. **_

"_**I do think I'm better than you," he continued. "And do you know why? Because you're too blind to see the trap you're falling into, the vicious cycle that is spiralling wildly out of control. You're an alcoholic Draco and you need to stop drinking. You've become a pathetic excuse for a man and it's only now that I've gotten myself out of it that I see that."**_

_**I raised my fist angrily and Harry backed off, afraid. My face burnt up with shame and I looked at my arm in horror. I dropped it like a ten ton weight and stepped towards Harry. He took a step backwards.**_

"_**I'm sorry," I whispered, consumed with guilt. I took another step towards him and he didn't back off this time. I chanced another step and outstretched my arms into a hug. It killed my heart that he flinched when my arms came towards him.**_

"_**Sorry," I repeated. I choked on a sob. "Harry, I really am sorry." He let himself be pulled into a hug and my heart flooded with relief as I felt him returning it.**_

"_**It's okay," he said shakily.**_

"_**You know I didn't mean to do that Harry."**_

"_**I know."**_

"_**I'd never hurt you Harry. You mean too much to me. You know I'd never, ever hurt you."**_

Draco stormed over to Harry. "Where is it?" he snarled. When Harry didn't answer, he grabbed a fistful of his hair. "WHERE IS IT?" he barked. Harry struggled to get out of his grip, but it just made the pain worse. Draco let out a roar of fury and flung him to the ground. Harry tried to crawl away quickly but Draco drew back a fist and punched him squarely in his lower back, flattening him to the ground.

"WHERE IS IT?" he demanded again, and didn't wait for an answer before he stomped on Harry's back hard. "Tell me you fucking bastard, where is it?"

Draco flipped him onto his back and straddled him, before grabbing his head and banging it on the floor. Harry screamed in pain as his surroundings went dizzy. His head hurt so much he thought he was going to vomit. He saw the blurred form of an unknown figure above him. It wasn't Draco. It was a psychopath. A drug-addicted psychopath that had taken over the body of his boyfriend.

"Stop it," he whispered weakly.

Draco banged his head again, before wrapping his fingers tightly around his throat. "Where is it?" he spat. "Tell me where it fucking is."

Harry choked and spluttered.

"I won't fucking let go," Draco shouted. "TELL ME!"

Harry's hand scrabbled around desperately but they couldn't reach anything. He tried to move his chest to shift Draco's weight off of him but to no avail. He looked up again at the figure above him. The hollowed, darkened eyes. The sunken cheeks. The pale skin that hung from his skeletal frame. Harry looked deeper still and saw the evilness that lurked in his body. The toxic waste where his mind once was but no longer lay thanks to all the drugs that he had consumed so quickly and heavily. He saw it all and more as everything went bright and the throbbing pain became duller and duller, imprinting itself in his skull.

Draco wasn't sure how long ago Harry had passed away, but he still choked him. He still wrapped his fingers tightly around his throat, demanding to know where his heroin was. "TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK IT IS," he roared in Harry's face, but his glassy-eyed expression remained deadened and his mouth stayed firmly shut.

Draco finally got up and breathed heavily. He looked around at his surroundings, he wanted something, anything, to stare at other than what lay on the floor below him, but his eyes refused to obey his brain and he turned to see the damage he'd caused. The purplish bruised marks around his throat. The chest that was no longer rising up and down with every breath he took. Because there were no more breaths. There were no more breaths, there was no more life and there was no more Harry. Staring at the figure of his boyfriend, he realised what he'd done and started to cry bitterly.

"All my fault," he whispered between tears, before breaking into heart-wrenching howls. He felt disgusted. He felt dirty. He felt _deadened_. He was worthless. He was absolutely nothing and he was just going down, down, down, down, down, freefalling down, down, down without a parachute and there was nothing or nobody to stop him from falling down, down, down and out.

A dull vibrating in his pocket brought him back to reality. He took it out with a shaking hand and saw that Roger was calling him. Swallowing, he wiped away his tears and answered the call.

There _was _something that could stop him from falling into nothingness after all.

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**Next sub-chapter already up...**


	8. Heaven

**This story contains hard drug use, graphic sex scenes and explicit language. It's rated R for a reason. I will not compromise this story for anyone and those who are against anything mentioned above may not want to read this. **

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_This chapter expands over:_

**July 21st**

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"_**Where are we going?"**_

"_**Shut up, kid."**_

"_**Where are we going?"**_

_**I yanked the boys arm sharply and brought him closer to me. He looked petrified. He could only have been about five or six. "Do you want those sweets or not?" I asked sharply.**_

_**He nodded slowly.**_

"_**Well come on then," I snapped, and started to walk briskly, keeping a firm grip on his hand and looking out for any police. I checked my watch. I still had a couple of minutes to spare and the meeting point was looking closer by each second.**_

_**I could almost feel the high that I was going to be on. Extra special heroin for an extra special favour for paedophilic Roger.**_

_**I spotted his car and walked even faster towards it. The kid started whining because he couldn't keep up, but I didn't care anymore. I practically dragged him over to the car and bunged him in the back seat. **_

"_**I kept my part of the bargain, now it's time for yours," I said breathlessly. Roger flung a small packet at me and started the car engine. The kids doe-eyes stared at me from the back seat and I stared back uncaringly. He was most likely going to end up getting raped.**_

_**I, on the other hand, was going to feel on top of the fucking world. **_

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**And it's over! Argh, those last couple of chapters were hard and they were in less words. I found the earlier chapters easier to write, even though they were sometimes triple the word count of these later ones, because I knew exactly how Draco felt when drinking and drugging like that. As soon as it got onto the heroin, I had to write from other people's experiences, which is why it's not in as much detail. _Anyway _I hope you enjoyed the story (I was going to say 'as much as I enjoyed writing it' but as I've often felt like throwing my computer out of the window in frustration; I hope not!) **

**Please leave any feedback! Love you all!**

**Jords xx**

…**This is so weird, that this is the final chapter and I'm never writing anything about it again. Sad, almost…**


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